How to Catch a Remus Lupin
by Avahin
Summary: One day, when Sirius Black was rifling through Remus Lupin's things, he came upon a most fascinating discovery. What does he plan to do with his information? Why test it out of course. SB/RL, some JP/LE. Such generic pairings...but interesting plot!
1. How it Began

**Disclaimer:** I think this is pretty useless 'cause we all know this is Harry Potter fanfic and it's pretty much in the thingy that you have to check in order to put stuff on here that you can't be claiming the characters for yourself, so I'm only gonna say this once. J.K. Rowling owns all familiar characters including Remus and Sirius. And without further ado...

-

"Moony!" the dark-haired boy called from the portrait hole. He pushed aside some first years who were in his way as he hollered for his friend again. "MOOOOOONY!!"

The boy in question had uncharacteristically fallen asleep on top of a nearly complete three-foot potions essay and was rubbing the lids of his golden eyes as he looked around for the loud, obnoxious voice calling for him. Luckily, he didn't have to look long; Sirius Black was standing on the highest table he could find, which just happened to be the table Remus was working at.

"Remus!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, not bothering to look at his feet.

"Sirius," Remus replied, "indoor voice, please."

"Rem?" he asked, seemingly confused about where his dear friend was, before finding him sprawled out in front of him. Sirius hopped down from the table and sat down next to him. "Rem, did you finish my _Transfiguration Essay_?" he wondered with a playful look on his face, waiting for Remus to smile at him like he always did whenever they used that code word.

But he was not rewarded with the golden smile. From the crook of his arm, Remus muttered, "It's in my bag." His foot kicked the side of the leather bag meekly as he added on, "Everything's fine."

Sirius didn't bother to question the boy about his off mood, feeling rather off himself because his friend hadn't been as ecstatic to see him as he had hoped, and passed it off as a side effect of the werewolf's transformation last night. Sirius patted the soft ruffled hair, smoothing it in the process, and reached into the bag. "Thanks Remus."

"Mmr," came the lazy response as Remus shifted into a more comfortable position. Not that there ever really was a comfortable position on a wooden desk surrounded by books and parchment.

Sirius shuffled through the papers and books in Remus' bag until he found what he was looking for. He prepared to close the bag when he saw something that caught his eye. It was a small bundle of papers titled, "How to win me over."

Now Sirius Black had never been attracted to Remus before in his life. Well maybe once or twice, but that didn't count. Still, he couldn't help but be enticed by the stack and wonder what it was for. So, while Remus Lupin was out for the count, Sirius snuck the papers out of the bag and made a run for it.

The unwary Remus Lupin just dozed on, until one Lily Evans lightly tapped him on the shoulder to remind him it was their turn to patrol the halls.

--

"What's the matter Remus?" Lily asked as he recovered from running into a wall for the tenth time that night.

"Nothing, Lily. Nothing at all." His big amber eyes blinked several times to clear his head, but the solution only worked for a minute or so.

She laughed at him, but very cautiously. "It's almost the end of the term. Are you planning on going anywhere for Christmas?"

"Not really. I might go home, but it seems as if the rest are going to be staying here and I wouldn't want to miss out on the fun." Remus grinned in that way that made one question why he was seen as the sane one of the four Mauraders, but the grin slipped back into the perfect mask he was so prone to wearing.

Lily groaned and shook her head. "Just when I thought I'd have some peace and quiet this break." Then she stopped in front of the Fat Lady and looked at Remus with a soft smile, before giving her the password. "Hey, at least you can catch up on some sleep right?" she commented as they stepped through the hole.

He smiled back genuinely. "Such a likely option with James and Sirius plotting some prank." She looked at him sternly, warning him to stop them, but he waved her off as he headed up for the boy's dormitory. "And, don't worry," he added in a soft whisper, "I'm working on it."

She looked at him with wide green eyes that darted around to see if anyone was looking, but luckily everyone had gone to bed. Then Lily shook her head at him. "I still can't believe I agreed."

Remus laughed and started up the stairs. "You always had a soft spot for me, and don't deny it."

"This had better stop him from being such a git, Remus John Lupin, or, Merlin help me, I will hex you until you can't stop seeing red and green spots."

"Good night to you too, Lily."


	2. Step 1: Bloody Gits

_Step 1: Stop being such a bloody git. __Stop showing off, stop acting like you're so cool, and tone things down._

If Sirius had noticed the different handwritings, he certainly didn't show it. "Hmm," he said as he stroked an imaginary beard on his four poster bed. Clearly, the notes were written for a male; after all that was the only gender Remus had shown some sort of affection to. What he didn't understand is why Remus was writing such things. "He isn't _that_ shy is he? I mean he's very friendly and approachable and I don't think anyone's ever been a git to him." Sirius paused and tapped his chin with the lit end of his wand. "Except for Snivellus, but he's a git to everyone and Moony couldn't possibly want his affection, could he?" The horrifying thought entered his mind and he pulled back the curtains on his bed to stare at Remus. He expected to see a head of a sleeping boy, but instead there were golden eyes staring at him curiously.

"Sirius, why are you still awake?" the brown-haired boy asked as he held a hand over his eyes to block the light.

"I'm studying," he answered. Then quickly added, "Why aren't you asleep?" just so Remus wouldn't question anything.

A small laugh responded to his first statement. "Sirius Black studying in the middle of the night?" Remus paused and sighed deeply. "That's a good question. I'm not sure. Restless I suppose." He shrugged.

"It's a special project," Sirius said with a nod for emphasis. Then he looked at Remus with a scrutinizing look. He had already decided that it couldn't possibly be Snape, but he just had to double check.

"What?" Remus asked with a questioning stare. "Is something wrong?" His eyes flew open as he sat up in bed and his hands began searching his face. "Is there a scar? I swear I-"

"No," the other boy said firmly before shaking his head. "No. I was just looking at the bug that was crawling on your face."

The lean hands flew faster, trying to catch the bug before they were stopped by barking laughter. Remus' frenzied face clamed down into an annoyed one. "Sirius, you bloody git. You know I hate bugs."

The laughing stopped immediately as dark eyes sobered immediately. _Bloody git?_ he repeated in his mind. _Does Remus really think that way of me?_

Sirius gnawed on his bottom lip as he muttered an apology. Remus' shoulders relaxed as the lighter-haired boy lay back down on his pillow.

"It's alright," he answered with a small smile as he shut his eyes.

Sirius watched the shadow of the eyelashes flutter momentarily against the unnaturally pale cheeks. "Remus?" he asked knowing that he really should let the werewolf rest.

"Hmm?"

"Do you like Snivellus?"

Remus chuckled and turned away from Sirius. "Sometimes you really confuse me, Sirius." Just as Sirius was going to prompt for a direct answer, Remus added, "No, Padfoot, I don't. Now turn the light off and go to sleep."

Sirius pouted, but it was pointless since Remus wasn't watching him. So he said, "Yes, mum," instead and went to sleep as instructed.

--

When morning came, Sirius was the first awake. It was odd since the boy usually liked to sleep in as late as possible, but all this thinking about gits and who Remus was writing to, or for, or about, got him too restless to sleep. So he got up and showered before sitting down at the foot of Remus' bed, half-naked, and contemplating what to do next.

He must have sat there for a good half hour before he got bored of it. Not in the mood to read, even if he was dying to know what else was in that stack of papers, he prepared to jump Remus. But he stopped, for once thinking before leaping, and realized that maybe Moony found would find it annoying. Of course, who could find waking up with a half-naked sexy Sirius annoying, but maybe Remus was one of the few that did.

Instead, Sirius went over to the side of Remus' bed and shook his shoulder lightly. "C'mon, Moony," he whined, not taking in account how deathly the other boy looked. "I'm bored."

Sleepily, the brown eyes opened. They slowly took in account their surroundings before zoning in on the gray eyes in front of him. Then, the right eye squinted as it began to twitch.

"Sirius."

"Yes?" a cheery voice answered.

"Sirius, what's the day today?"

"Saturday."

"Sirius. What are you doing?"

"Waiting for you to get up so we can go to breakfast."

"Sirius," this time it was Remus whining, "it's six-thirty on a Saturday morning. Even if I did wake up, breakfast wouldn't be for at least another hour." _And I'm tired._

"But," Sirius widened his eyes and stuck out his lower lip slowly, "Remus, I'm hungry."

Remus closed his eyes to avoid looking into the large eyes, but he was too slow. He had already seen Sirius' begging face and it was now haunting him behind closed lids. Groaning, he pushed aside the covers and sat up. "Fine, but for your sake there had better be chocolate chip pancakes."

--

As Remus sat next to him wolfing down as many chocolate chip pancakes as he could, Sirius slowly opened the long package in his lap. Delight shined in his silver eyes as the brown paper fell back to reveal the one thing he had allowed himself to indulge in this Christmas. Sirius had been raving about it to anyone who would listen and now that he finally had it he would show it off in the fanciest way possible.

Sirius slowly tore away the rest of the paper, reveling in the shininess of the broomstick. After he ran his hand down and up the polished handle a few times, he gently set it to the side and got up on the table to make an announcement.

Just as he shouted, "Listen up!" Peter walked in and sat down across from Remus asking, "What's Sirius up to?"

"Making some ridiculous announcement about the new broom he got, probably," Remus answered without looking away from his pancakes.

"Ridiculous?" Sirius repeated incredulously. "I'll have you know-" _Stop showing off_, his brain reminded him as his mouth paused to change its words, "that you're absolutely right." Sirius got down from the table and sat back down.

Remus stared at him with wide eyes, not believing that Sirius Black had actually listened to him for once. Sirius looked back with a pleased grin. He was rather surprised that the advice sort of worked, but the more he thought about it, the less surprised he was. After all, Remus did write that himself. Of course that led him back to the train of thought he had last night.

But Remus wasn't the only one staring. The whole school was waiting for Sirius to finish his announcement. Well, the whole school minus James who was trying to get Lily to go out with him by telling her about a prank he played. Clearly, Lily didn't think the prank was all that great because she withdrew her wand and James' hair turned a brilliant shade of bright pink.

"What?" Sirius asked when he snapped out of his thoughts and everyone was still staring.

Remus shook his head and smiled. His attention turned back to the pancakes as he answered, "You never finished your announcement."

"Oh." He stood back up on the table and took a moment to think about the most notable thing that had happened recently. Then he spotted James' hair and pointed at it. "Mr. Potter's got a dashing new style that everyone should try."

Upon realizing that everyone in the Great Hall was staring at him, James struck a pose and strutted down to the rest of the Marauders while occasionally stopping for a few pictures.

--

A/N: Thanks for being so receptive of the story! I'm glad you guys like it and if you have any ideas about the steps, tell me and I'll try to add them in...'cause I'm running low on ideas.


	3. Step 2: Rude Interruptions

_Step 2: Don't interrupt me rudely when I'm talking to someone else. __Stop acting so jealous and overprotective. It's overwhelming._

Sirius lay on his stomach with his pillow between his head and his crossed arms. He was staring at the silhouette of a sleeping Remus Lupin whose mouth was slightly open and who was snoring softly. Sirius smiled because Remus didn't usually snore, but the past few days had worn him out immensely. _Just another week_, Sirius thought. _Then it will be break time!_ He turned over onto his back and stared at the top of his four poster bed. His smile grew wider with anticipation. It would be his first Christmas away from his family, and he was damned happy that it was. For the first year, he would be celebrating Christmas with the people he loved, as corny as that sounded, and doing the things he wanted to.

_No more stuffy parties to go to._ But he thought that just for fun, he'd make Remus, James, and Peter dress up. Merlin, he'd throw his own stuffy party in the Gryffindor common room, or better yet, in the Great Hall! Or the library! Dumbledore couldn't possibly say no, could he? Madame Pince would certainly kill them, but that would make things all the more eventful, wouldn't it?

Now sitting up and pumped with excitement, Sirius couldn't possibly go to sleep. Instead, he got on his haunches and glanced around the room. Finding that Remus was the only one with his curtains pulled back, Sirius jumped into the bed, landing perfectly on top of the boy. With quick reflexes, he shoved his fist into Remus' to keep him from screaming out, but quickly realized how bad of an idea that was when sharp teeth drew blood.

"Mmrmm!"

"Moony, it's me, Padfoot."

"Mmrmrmmmr mrmmrm mrmrmm!" Fierce golden eyes glared at Sirius sternly, upset that their rest had been interrupted.

"Promise me you won't yell at me if I take my fist out."

"Mm."

He pulled his hand away and closely examined the bites on his hand in the light of the waning moon.

"Sirius, what the bloody hell are you doing?" Remus whispered angrily as he took his wand out from under his pillow. "What if I had killed you?" He snatched Sirius' hand and began muttering healing spells.

"I just had a great idea and no one else had their curtains open. Besides, you'd never kill me, Moony. I'm too good for that." Sirius beamed as the wounds closed.

Remus dropped the hand and sunk back down into his bed, which was a little difficult to do, considering Sirius was still on top of him. "Go away, Sirius. I want to sleep."

"But I can't go back to sleep, _now_. C'mon, Moooony. At least ­_listen_ to my idea first," Sirius begged with his "pity me" face.

Remus scowled in return but replied, "Fine, but get off me and close the curtains so you don't wake up James or Peter."

Sirius obliged eagerly and even stole Remus' wand to put a silencing spell around them. After Remus settled down under his covers and Sirius had made a cozy little spot to sit in, Sirius opened his mouth to spill out his idea.

"So, you know how it's the first year that all four of us are celebrating Christmas?" He waited for a grunt of confirmation before continuing, "I just thought we should do something special for it. Like have a party!" He threw his hands up at the word and was rewarded with another grunt. "I thought maybe we could all dress up fancy-like, because I don't think I've ever seen you or Wormtail in fancy clothing-"

"I don't have fancy clothing," Remus muttered.

Ignoring the attempt to ruin his idea, Sirius said, "and have it in the Great Hall." He paused and frowned when there was no response. "Or the LIBRARY!"

"Padfoot! Stop shouting!" Remus yelled back as he sat up and punched Sirius on the shoulder. As the dark-haired boy fell over grasping the sore spot, Remus added on, "Madame Pince would never allow that."

"I dunno," Sirius raised his eyebrows with a sly look on his face. "I'm _very_ good at being _persuasive_."

Remus punched him again and this time successfully knocked him out of the bed. For all his frail looks, Remus Lupin was a very strong boy. However, the sound thump Sirius caused from being thrown out of bed was just enough to wake up the other two boys from bed.

"Padfoot, what the hell?" Peter asked as he stared down at the pathetic picture of manly Sirius Black clutching his shoulder and curled into a ball.

James stared too, but was laughing while staring. "Have you been a bad little doggie, Padfoot? Is that why Moony kicked you out of bed?"

That comment got to Sirius and at once the boy was on his feet and storming towards James' bed. "You little wanker, take that back!"

"Make me," James dared as he jumped out of bed to meet Sirius in the middle of the room.

As the two boys started their fight, Remus closed the curtains to his own bed and buried himself deep underneath the covers to sleep until morning.

--

Sirius shoved the papers he was reading into his bag hastily as Professor Binns was finishing his lecture. _How else would you interrupt someone if not rudely?_ he wondered as he followed the rest of his classmates out the room. _And who would do that anyway? It's very impolite._ He paused just outside the doorway, ignoring all the rude shoves from the other students to get out of the room, and thought about all the people who were over protective of Remus. There weren't that many; he could only think of the Marauders and Lily. _Lily? _He shook his head. _Lily is James' and this thing is written far too rudely to be addressed to a girl._ _Hmm…Now who constantly interrupts Moony?_ He looked around him and suddenly realized that Remus was nowhere to be seen.

Since it was lunch time, Remus would probably be in the halls and on his way to the Great Hall, after all, Sirius hadn't been standing around for _that_ long. So he began his great search for Remus Lupin that, fortunately, didn't take very long. He instantly spotted the golden hair in the middle of a staircase talking to a head of greasy black hair. For some reason, Remus seemed to be enjoying the conversation with Snape. Or if not enjoying, at least tolerating it with a smile.

He felt anger flare up in him as he marched over and called out, "Remus!"

The smile slipped away as a brief look of surprise changed to annoyance. "Sorry, Severus," Sirius heard Remus say with an apologetic smile. "If you want to go somewhere else to discuss this, then that's alright."

"Remus!" Sirius shouted out again as he got closer.

Snape scowled. "What about the library?"

"That's not a bad-" Remus was rudely interrupted by the shifting stairs that decided it would be nicer to lead Remus directly to the Great Hall and Snape down to the dungeons. "Another time then!" he shouted after the disappearing Slytherin.

"Library at eight," was the reply.

Then Remus turned to Sirius, exasperation clear across his face. "Did you need something, Sirius?"

The raven-haired boy couldn't figure out why Remus seemed so irritated with him. Then he remembered, _"Don't interrupt me rudely when I'm talking to someone else."_ So he smiled as sincerely as he could and pointed to the Great Hall. "Nothing. I just heard that there would be German Chocolate Cake for desert today."

There was no response from Remus except a slight moan and a quick dash into the room.

--

At 7:50 that night, Remus stood up from the table that seated James, Peter, and Sirius, and packed his bag.

"Moony, where are you going?" James asked with an eyebrow raised.

"To the library."

"Are you going on a date?" he teased, drawing out the last word.

Remus smiled back. "Of course I am, Prongs. You know me. Sitting among all those books is the ideal romantic situation." He leaned in towards James and whispered, "It really turns me on."

James and Peter started laughing loudly as Sirius stared at Remus intently. After the brown-haired boy disappeared behind the portrait hole, he got up too and ran after him.

_It's not a date,_ he said to himself. _They're just going to talk about something. Something secretive._ A look of horror appeared on his face as he turned the corner. _No, no, that's not possible. Moony said that he didn't like Snivellus. He _said_ so. He laughed at me when I asked him, so it couldn't be him._ Sirius shoved open the library doors, ignoring the glare from Madame Pince, and started looking for Remus. _So he's just talking to Snivellus. There's nothing to be upset about. Except for the fact that he's a greasy haired prick._

His ears pricked up as he heard the familiar laugh coming from nearby.

"Honestly, he did that?" came a muffled question as Sirius drew closer to the source of the noise.

"It must have been a mistake, though. Just the-"

"Remus!" Sirius tackled the smaller boy from behind, successfully knocking the two of them to the ground. The chair that Remus had been sitting on fell over as well and knocked over a neat little stack of books.

"Sirius, what the hell are you doing?" Remus growled as he untangled himself from the other boy. "We're in a fucking library. What if Madame Pince had-"

"Heard you?" All three boys turned to see the woman glaring down at them. "Get out of my library! Ten points from each of you! OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT!"

The three of them rushed out of the library quickly and winced as the great doors slammed shut behind them. Once they stopped panicking, Remus turned onto Sirius with murder in his eyes. "SIRIUS ORION BLACK! What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?" Remus screamed, calling over the attention of everything in their vicinity.

"You-I-Snivellus," he began stuttering as he backed away from the furious werewolf.

"Oh, it's all because of Severus is it?" He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "What is with you and James and your goddamn obsession with Snape?"

To this, Sirius straightened his back and attempted to match Remus' livid expression. "It's not an obsession. You know how we think. Why should Lily be spending time with a _Slytherin_ of all people? We're just looking out for the good of a Gryffindor."

"Looking out? LOOKING OUT?" he roared in repetition. "You didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with a Slytherin when you were sleeping around with one, did you?"

"It was just to-"

"For all that you and James say about the good of Lily Evans, neither of you listen to her at all do you? What do you care who she spends time with?"

"But he called her a mudblood."

Remus paused as he drew close to Sirius. His voice lowered significantly as he whispered into Sirius' ear, "And is that the worst a _friend_ can do?"

Betrayal shined in the eyes of both boys as they attempted to stare the other down. Finally, tired of it, Remus turned away, muttered an apology to Snape, and stormed away. Sirius stared at the retreating figure with guilt and sadness.

"Good going, Black," Snape added on with a sneer.

Too conflicted for logical thinking, Sirius lunged at the Slytherin with a snarl and started punching him. He didn't stop until Professor McGonagall halted the beating with a shriek.

--

The next several days were terrible for all of the Mauraders. Remus was still angry at Sirius, James and Peter were caught between being upset with Remus for going off with Snape and being upset with Sirius for upsetting Remus, and Sirius felt like it was the Whooping Willow incident all over again.

Sirius tried to use that incident as a guideline on how to get back into Remus' good graces again, but all he could remember was the agony of not being friends with Remus for nearly half a year and the joy when they were friends again. He also tried talking to James and Peter, but both of them were acting very antsy as if they were unsure about what to do. However, they did suggest some chocolates that Remus might have liked.

So he sulked around for awhile before he was approached by the last person he thought would talk to him.

"Lily?" he asked when he looked up from the hand resting on his shoulder.

"Sirius," she replied with a heavy sigh. "I think we need to talk."

"What is it?"

She looked around at their surroundings before looking back down at him with pity. "C'mon. Let's go inside. It's cold out here."

He shook his head. "I don't like it inside."

She sighed again as if she was given a terrible burden before taking off her scarf and wrapping it around him.

"I don't want it."

"I don't care." He looked at her as if she were crazy so she shrugged as she sat down on the snowy ground next to him and added as an explanation. "It's Remus'. He didn't want you getting sick." She smiled as she watched him look at her with shock at first before he pulled the scarf tighter around himself. "He told me what happened."

Silver eyes peeked out at her from above the red and gold cloth as a muffled voice asked, "And?"

"And he said that it was stupid of him to have brought back something that was buried a long time ago. However, you shouldn't have gone after him in the first place." She stared into those confused gray eyes. "Sirius, don't you trust him? What did you think he was going to do?"

Sirius pulled the scarf up to cover his entire face and breathed in the scent that was Remus as he answered, "I do trust him, Lily. I don't know what I was thinking. It's just…it's Sni-Snape, you know? I don't trust Snape. Especially after what happened last year, but I know that that was my fault. I just don't like Snape being around any of us."

"Sirius." She put her hand over one of his shaking ones and was slightly startled by how cold it was. "You can't stop people from being friends with who they want."

"I know, but Snape's such a bastard."

"Sirius," Lily said sharply before she bit her tongue and softened her voice. "Everyone makes mistakes. Just because he's made a few more than others have, doesn't make him a bad person."

"I know, but-"

She tugged down on the scarf that was still hiding Sirius' face and smiled. "It's getting too cold for me so I'm going to go back inside." She stood up. "You should too." Lily looked around again then bent down and whispered, "You didn't hear this from me, but Remus is worried sick about you catching your death with you out here all the time."

--

He stumbled into the dormitory coughing like it was his death. A warm feeling filled him up as Remus rushed over with a blanket in hand. That made it worth all the crazy stares he'd gotten from the people in the library and the common room when he walked in coughing like crazy.

"Merlin! Sirius, are you alright?" Remus tossed the blanket over him and walked him over to his bed. "What were you doing outside for so long wearing next to nothing?"

Sirius began coughing harder, wanting more of Remus' attention, but he couldn't hold in his laughter either. As a result, he fell over on the bed laughing and coughing alternatively. Of course, Remus caught on quickly and smacked him on the head.

"You prat, Sirius. I was really worried!"

He sat up and smiled at Remus. "I know." Then silence fell on the both of them, neither one knowing what to say next. Remus stared nervously at his scarred hands as Sirius watched him with a sobered face. Suddenly, he reached over, pulled Remus into a hug, and held on to him tightly. It took a few moments before Remus reached his arms up and loosely wrapped them around Sirius.

"Siri-"

"Remus, I'm sorry, really. I knew about your meeting with Snape and I just…I didn't want you ditching us for him. And you're right. We really should be listening to what Lily wants instead of acting on what we think she wants. I shouldn't have interrupted you guys in the library. I shouldn't have even gone there in the first place."

"I'm sorry, too, Sirius. It was wrong of me to yell at you when you just wanted to watch out for me. I shouldn't have brought up that incident either."

"You had a right."

For a moment, Sirius thought Remus was nuzzling his chest, but he was only shaking his head slowly. "I had no right, Sirius. It's been forgiven and should be forgotten."

"No, it's okay." _Stop acting so jealous and overprotective._ "And I shouldn't have been so overprotective. It's not my place to say who you should and shouldn't spend time with."

Remus tightened his hold for an instant and then let go. Sirius too let go after holding on for a moment longer. Then he smiled largely.

"So you want to hear more about my plan for the party?"

"Sirius…"

"I'll tell you on the way to Honeydukes." He watched the argument in the golden eyes between getting chocolate or going to sleep. "I'll buy you something too," he offered with a raise of both eyebrows.

The argument was settled and Remus said as unwillingly as possible, "Fine," but he couldn't hide the smile as he grabbed his cloak and followed Sirius out the door.

--

A/N: So I have Step 3 started, but I can't guarantee that it will be up tomorrow. And if it's not up tomorrow, then it won't be for probably another week and a half because I'm off on vacation. Yay! Anyway, I hadn't meant for them to fight so early on, but it just started and then it wouldn't stop...Oh well. And what happened to Remus' scarf? Why that's a plot hole to be filled later! Not that it's actually important.


	4. Step 3: Pay Attention

_Step 3: Listen to me when I talk to you. __Pay more attention to what I say._

The night before Christmas break, he rushed into the common room with his broom in hand and snow dusting his dark hair. His cheeks were flushed with red and his nose nearly matching. He stripped away the outer layers of his clothing as he set aside his broom and settled down next to Remus on the couch in front of the fire.

"Oh Moony, you should have come with us," Sirius began. "It was brilliant out there. Prongs snuck a snitch out of the Quidditch closet and he let it go. Then we both started chasing it. Probably not one of our best ideas, you know, but it was still great. I mean, it was really hard because there was no moon or anything and it was really cold, but it was so much fun. We only threw it once though. We were too afraid of losing it to let it go again. Man, Moony, next time you should come with us. I'll let you use my broom if you want. The ones in the broom closets really suck."

"'Kay," Remus replied as he stirred from his sleeping position. "Sounds good."

"Rem, you should have seen me," he continued to say. "The snitch was heading for the school, because someone had stupidly left the door open, and I followed it."

"Why?"

"Because James and I had a bet going. The first one to catch the snitch would be in charge of decorations."

This got Remus' attention. He sat up straight and turned to stare at Sirius. "I thought you said I could do the decorations."

"Did I?" Sirius looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully and shook his head. "I don't remember saying that at all." He shrugged. "Sorry, Moony. If you really want to, you can help."

Remus sighed laid his head down on Sirius' shoulder. "It's fine," he muttered. "What happened next?"

The excitement came back to his voice as he continued his story. "Well the snitch had gotten into the school and I was chasing after it, right? Prongs was right after me, and somehow it had gotten into the Great Hall too. So we both went in after it, and McGonagall was in there glaring daggers at us, but she didn't do anything. We could tell she really wanted to yell at us or give us detention or something, but luckily Professor Dumbledore was there too and he thought it was all very amusing, so he stopped her from doing anything, but you should have seen her face! It was beet red. She was so incredibly furious."

"Mmhmm."

"Anyway, James and I were neck to neck after the snitch when I ran into this bloody cloud. I mean, I knew that Dumbledore had bewitched the ceiling and all, but why did he put in freaking clouds?"

"It's to capture the atmosphere better. It's not so bad, Sirius. After all it's not as if it actually rains or snows with the clouds. Although, sometimes I wish it weren't so realistic." Remus shuddered slightly at how disturbingly real the moon looked sometimes in the Great Hall.

Sirius wrapped his arm around Remus' shaking shoulders and nodded. "I suppose it really isn't so bad."

Remus smiled and patted the hand gripping his shoulder. "So you ran into a cloud."

"Yeah. Yeah, I ran into a cloud and so I had thought for sure I'd lost, but then the sweetest voice I had ever heard saved me."

"Sirius Black!"

"It sounded just like that, except instead of 'Sirius Black' it said 'James Potter'."

"Sirius!" Angry footsteps marched towards the two of them as Remus turned around to see who it was. Sirius, on the other hand, continued staring into the fire and talking as if no one had interrupted him.

"Well then, Prongs was in for it. His hand was so close to grabbing the snitch, but at the sound of that lovely voice, he forgot about everything." Sirius began laughing when a female hand grabbed his head and forced him to look at her. "Why hello Lily."

"Don't you 'hello Lily' me, Sirius Black," she snarled. "James told me everything."

"What happened?" Remus asked the two of them.

"James and Sirius had thought it was a grand idea to play catch the snitch in the Great Hall this evening."

"Well it was a grand idea, wasn't it?" Sirius asked as he pried Lily's hand out of his hair.

"Oh, I'm sure, if it weren't for the fact that it's bloody dangerous! I can't believe none of the professors stopped you guys!"

"Dangerous? I thought you guys were flying close to the ceiling."

"We were-"

"Oh, they were, until James decided to dive in after the snitch-"

"He knocked her over-"

"And Sirius nearly killed the both of us when he caught the snitch!"

"Oh, but the best part was when James-"

"Was suddenly wearing a dress. _One of my dresses_!"

Remus was caught between laughing at the situation and scolding Sirius for pulling something like that. He settled for a smile with furrowed eyebrows as he asked, "Why was James wearing Lily's dress?"

"That was another part of the bet I forgot to mention."

"So you admit it _was_ your idea?" She pointed an accusing finger at Sirius.

"I never said that." He pushed aside her finger. "It's just as much of James' fault as it is mine anyway."

"How did you get her dress?"

"Yeah…Sirius, how _did_ you get my dress?"

"Eh, it was just lying around in your room."

"What were you doing in my room?" she shrieked, calling over the attention of everyone else in the common room.

"Calm down, Lily. The window to your room was open and your dress was just there, so we filched it. It's not like we were going to keep it forever or anything. It looked a little torn and raggedy so were we going to bring it over to Remus here and ask him to fix it up a little."

"Why were you at her window?"

"Yeah, why _were-_"

"Lily, you don't have to repeat every question Moony asks," Sirius said with an annoyed tone. "James had written a poem he wanted you to hear."

"A poem? You can tell the dickhead that I don't want to hear anymore of his damned poems!" she screamed and prepared to storm away. Before she did, though, she grabbed Remus' hand and yelled at Sirius, "You can also tell him to burn the dress once he gets it off!"

--

"Remus, I want you to destroy that thing!" she yelled, her voice echoing in the empty hall. "I want you to burn it, then burn the ashes, then dump the ashes into the lake and make sure the Giant Squid eats them! I can't believe I ever _thought_ about giving that prick a chance."

"Lily," he took her hand and pulled her towards him. "Lily, calm down and let's just think about this rationally, okay?"

"Rationally?" she shouted into his chest. She wanted to push him away, but it was just so much easier to let him hold her up like this. "Remus, maybe you hadn't noticed, but he nearly killed me and he stole my dress from my room!"

"Shh…" He combed his fingers through her hair in a repeating motion. "I admit, that was extremely out of line, but it's not his fault. I bet James just wanted to impress you with his poem and then Sirius saw the dress and thought it would be a great idea." He lowered his voice and chuckled softly. "Don't tell James I said this, but most of our pranks are Sirius' ideas and James tones them down just a bit to make sure we don't get expelled."

Lily bit her bottom lip, not wanting to give in. "But why didn't he protest and say it was a bad idea?"

"Because he's a boy who's crazy about you and if it will get your attention, then he'll do it. After all, -what's that saying?- bad attention is better than no attention."

She laughed a little and hugged him back. "I don't think that's a saying at all."

He rolled his eyes and smiled. "Well it's better than you ignoring him. You have to admit, Lily, he's getting better."

"I guess. Still, that was a bad idea."

"Well, you're a prefect, aren't you? Go give them some detention or something to make you feel better. I heard the boy's bathroom on the third floor is so dirty it's starting to grow its own ecosystem," he suggested with a grin.

"That's not a bad idea. Especially over Christmas break. Oh, Remus, they're going to _hate_ you when I tell them what their detention is." She matched his grin with a wicked smile of her own as she let go of him and skipped towards the Fat Lady.

"Lily!" he called after her with a shocked look on his face. "Lily, you wouldn't dare! What did _I_ do wrong?"

--

"What did I do?" Remus moaned as he sat in the corner Sirius had just cleaned. "Why am I here when I could be sitting in the library reading or having some hot chocolate with Alexander Cohen in the Ravenclaw common room?"

"Why would you be in the Ravenclaw common room?" Sirius asked, pausing in his scrubbing to glare at Remus who had some sort of dreamy look on his face.

Remus shrugged. "It's a very cozy place, you know. It's kind of like the library, only without Madame Pince and with a ton of smart friendly people."

"Hey! I'm smart and friendly," Sirius retorted, waving his brush at Remus. "Who's Alexander Cohen?"

It was Remus' turn to stare at Sirius unbelievingly. "Are you serious?"

"I'm always Sirius," he replied with his most witty smile, but was not rewarded the usual "you-make-bad-puns" face.

"I swear I must have told you about him at least fifty times by now." He sighed and pushed back his hair. "Never mind about him. I just want to get out of here. I didn't do anything wrong in the first place."

Upset for some reason, Sirius went back to scrubbing the grime off the tiles. "Maybe if you hadn't offered Evans the bloody idea in the first place she wouldn't have had you 'supervise' me."

"If I'd known she would have made me sit here, I wouldn't have told her about it. I'd much rather be watching James polishing trophies than fear for my life with you and this bathroom."

"Why is Evans with James anyway?" he asked as he dipped his brush into the bucket of soapy water. "I thought she hated him."

Remus smiled a knowing smile and shrugged. "She's convinced it's more your fault than it is James."

"You wouldn't happen to have been with one to convince her of that, would you?" he accused, looking up from the shiny circle he had just made.

He grinned and stood up. "Maybe I did. Either way, she hates you more." He looked around the disgusting bathroom and smirked. "Well, Mr. Black, I see that you have done well without magic," Remus said in an abnormally loud voice. "I trust that you will do the same for the rest of the place."

"Moony, what are you-"

"See you later." Remus winked and sprinted away.

"See you later, my arse!" Sirius shouted after him. _Pay more attention to what I say._ He looked around the room, turned to the sink, and saw that his wand was waiting there for him. He laughed, finally catching onto the reason for Remus' voice change, and grabbed it. "That doesn't mean you're off the hook." _I'm still going to get you for putting me in here and then ditching me._

--

Anyone with eyes could see how peakish looking Remus was during dinner. Even though there was a lovely slab of medium-rare steak steaming right in front of him, he only very weakly tried sawing through it and eventually gave up in favor of eating some carrots and peas.

"Remus?" a blond boy wearing a Ravenclaw badge asked with worry. "Are you feeling alright?"

Remus looked up from his plate and smiled. "Yeah, I'm just a little tired, that's all."

"You look sick," Peter offered as his two cents.

"It's fine, really. I just haven't gotten much sleep in the past few weeks." His golden eyes attempted to glare at Sirius, but they didn't hold enough power to do so.

Sirius smiled back meekly. "Sorry, but there's just so much to do, you know?"

Remus sighed and shook his head. "I know, I know."

The blond took Remus' plate and cut the steak up for him. "What do you guys do?" he wondered as he put a piece on a fork.

Remus opened his mouth expectantly and bit down when the food entered it. Then he took hold of the fork and took his plate back. "Thank you."

"Nothing, we just talk about important things," Sirius answered rudely. He propped his elbows up on the table and stared scrutinizingly at the stranger. "Who are you?"

"Sirius, don't be so rude," Remus scolded as the boy laughed.

"It's fine. I'm Alexander Cohen. It's nice to meet you, Sirius Black." He held his hand out and Sirius took it briefly.

"Are you, now?" Before anyone could respond, Sirius got up. "Well I have things to be doing now."

"But you haven't finished dinner yet," James noted.

"There's chocolate mousse," Remus chimed in. "Don't you want some chocolate mousse?"

"Maybe later." With that said, Sirius disappeared behind the wooden doors of the Great Hall.

--

"What was he doing at dinner?" Sirius asked rather protectively when Remus finally appeared in the common room. "And where have you been?"

"He's allowed to sit with whoever he wants, Sirius. Besides there aren't a lot of people left and his usual friends aren't in the castle. And I thought we agreed that it wasn't your place to say who I should and shouldn't spend time with."

"I didn't say you shouldn't spend time with him," Sirius said in defense as he followed Remus across the room. "I just think it'd be nice if you would tell me before you run away late with someone."

"Since when did I need your permission to go somewhere? And if you had been listening at dinner, you would have heard me say that I was going to go to the library with Alexander for awhile."

"Well maybe I would have been listening if I weren't so distracted by the presence of a random boy at our table."

"He isn't random. You've met him before Sirius. And why would you care anyway?"

"Is caring for the well-being of my friend such a bad thing?" His voice grew louder as Remus' quieted.

"What are you talking about, Sirius? Alexander's not going to hurt me."

"But what if he does? Remus don't get involved with him. I've heard-"

"Sirius, I'm tired." Remus shut the door to the dormitory that Sirius hadn't even realized they had reached.

"But…" Sirius tried softly against the closed door, but it was useless.

--

There was a soft whine from the other side of the closed curtains. If Remus had actually been asleep, he never would have heard it, but he had been awake thinking about Sirius and why there was so much tension between them lately. He smiled and got out from under his covers to open the curtains. He was immediately attacked by a large black dog with a red and gold scarf in his mouth.

"Padfoot," he whispered as he stroked the soft fur. Remus' smile widened as the scarf was dropped on him. "Thank you."

The dog nudged the scarf closer to Remus' face until the boy saw the note attached on the end. He looked at it curiously before taking it off and opening it. Then he chuckled and wrapped his arms around the neck of the shaggy dog. "I'm not going to get sick and thank you for letting me decorate." There was a soft bark in return before Padfoot shook Remus loose and withdrew under the warm blankets.

Remus followed suit after setting the scarf aside. Padfoot snuggled against the warm body and both shut their eyes. After awhile, when Padfoot had thought Remus was asleep, Remus startled him by saying, "Alexander and I are just friends, Pads. You don't have to worry about anything." Then the werewolf reached out and pulled the animagus into a hug and they fell asleep like that, both with a warm smile on their faces.

--

A/N: So honestly I'm not sure what this has to do with anything, but New Character Introduced! Now I'm going to go away for awhile.


	5. Step 4: Severus Snape

_Step 4: Stop being a jackass to Severus Snape. __I know you're jealous of him, but it would be nice if I didn't have to worry about you exploding from the broom closet every time I spoke to him._

Sirius read the step again. _Jealous?_ _Who in their right minds would be jealous of Snivellus? _Then he remembered the incident that had happened a week ago and shook his head. _That wasn't jealousy…I was just trying to see what Moony was doing._ He growled at himself for thinking stupid thoughts and shoved the papers back under his bed.

He flopped back onto his bed and stared at the top of the four poster bed. Sirius wondered if it was possible for him to charm it so that it was like the ceiling of the Great Hall. He was half-way through figuring it out when Remus came into the dormitory covered in snow.

"And where have you been, Mister Moony?" Sirius whispered, not wanting to wake up the napping Peter.

Remus shrugged as though it weren't important, but judging from his rosy cheeks and glowing smile he had clearly had some secret rendezvous. "Just outside."

Sirius sat up and squinted his eyes at Remus. "Outside where?"

Remus sighed and rolled his eyes. Lately, Sirius had gotten into a habit of questioning him anytime he went anywhere without any of the Marauders. "If you must know, _Mother_. I was out with a friend of mine in Hogsmeade." He took off his cloak and scarf and laid them down neatly on his bed. "Is that enough information?"

Sirius jumped out of bed, his eyes still trained on Remus, and began following the other boy. "Who was she?"

Remus kicked his shoes off while walking towards the bathroom and smiled mischievously. "I never said my friend was a she, did I?" He laughed and sprinted into the bathroom, locking it behind him so Sirius wouldn't follow.

"Who was he?" Sirius hollered while pounding on the wooden door, demanding to be let in.

"No one special. Now go away, unless you want to stand there for an hour because I'm going to take a nice long bath." Remus drew out the words nice and long for good measure.

"I'll get it out of you, Moony!" He kicked the door and turned around to see that Remus had forgotten to take with him a towel and a change of clothing. Sirius grinned manically and shook the amazingly-still-asleep-Peter awake.

"What is it Padfoot?"

"Wanna play a _great_ prank?" Two black eyebrows went up and down and Peter smiled in anticipation.

--

It had taken Peter a great deal of effort to lug the clothes in the bathroom out from under the door. When he had asked Sirius why he couldn't have just unlocked the door, Sirius replied with, "It's more fun this way. I'll go get some sweets while you do that." He smiled and winked and disappeared, leaving the small mousey boy on his own. A smarter small mousey boy would have gone in and unlocked the door anyway, but unfortunately, Peter was not that smarter mousey boy.

He was indeed rewarded with some sweets and a promise of a good show, but that good show never came. Instead, at dinner time, a calm Remus came through the doors wearing the most ridiculous outfit ever seen. Sirius stared at the tight hot pink leather pants, wondering how the hell Remus ever managed to get into them as the boy in question sat down in between James and Alexander with a carefree smile.

"Pot roast, my favorite," he commented as he took a great heaping of it while adding on a few spoonfuls of peas. Remus ignored the stares as he dove into his meal while wiping his mouth every so often with the sleeve of his bright blue ruffled shirt that, for some reason, was only half-buttoned.

When he finished his plate, he filled up another and began eating again until James asked in the loudest voice possible, "What the bloody hell are you wearing?"

Remus looked up from his plate with his eyebrows up as if asking James what he was on about. "Oh," he set his fork and knife down and wiped his mouth with a napkin this time, "the strangest thing happened. Earlier, I had gone to take a shower, but during that time all my clothes seemed to have disappeared."

"Disappeared?"

"Yes, Peter. Disappeared. I swear I heard a _rat_, but I must have been dreaming because Hogwarts is the cleanest place ever and there's no way a rat could have stolen the clothes from the bathroom and ran away with my trunk. Even if he managed to do any part of that, he would have had to have help from a bigger animal."

It was clear who Remus was accusing and Peter was pointedly looking away from Remus. Sirius, on the other hand, was staring right at the other boy wordlessly.

"So, after searching for awhile, I found another trunk with the most fantastic outfits I'd ever seen." He smiled broadly. "It was Sirius' and I thought he wouldn't mind if I just borrowed his clothes for a bit. You know," he tried to get the gray eyes to look at his, but they were too fixated on the open shirt to care, "just until I find mine." He shrugged as his plate cleared and offered him a chocolate biscuit. "Anyway. Thanks, Sirius, for letting me borrow this stunning outfit and I'll return it soon." He stood and started walking away before suddenly realizing something and running back. "By the way," he said to a still silent Sirius, "I'll need to borrow your pajamas."

As soon as Remus disappeared behind the doors of the Great Hall, Snape walked up behind Sirius and leaned in next to his ear. "I never knew you had such," he paused as his hand waved in the air to conjure up the right word, "_flamboyant_ clothing." Then he shook his greasy hair out of his face and followed Remus out.

It took Sirius a few minutes to realize he had been insulted by Snape and outdone by Remus. With his earlier thoughts crashing together with these new ones, he decided that the two of them must have planned something or be planning something. "Or just doing something together. And I don't have clothing like that," he muttered to himself.

"What?" James asked, his food untouched. He was as confused as the rest of the members at the table, none of whom had eaten except for Peter. "What did you say?" he prompted, hoping the boy would offer some explanation.

Sirius glared at James instead and got up from the table. "I'll be back."

--

"Honestly, Remus, why are you wearing that?" Snape asked as soon as he had caught up to the other boy. The two of them were planning to meet Lily at the bottom of the Astronomy Tower to simply talk and relax somewhere.

Remus smiled. "Sirius hid my clothing somewhere after I wouldn't tell him something, so I thought I'd just take his."

"Tell me he has better taste than that," he sneered with a frown. Then he stopped and quickly glanced over his shoulder before scowling distastefully. "Black is stalking us again."

"I know." Remus shrugged. "He'll get bored and go away soon."

However, that was clearly not the case. The closer they got to the Astronomy Tower more intent Sirius seemed on following them. Finally, when they reached the base of the tower and Lily wasn't there, Remus sighed and rolled his eyes at no one in particular.

"Perhaps we should go up to see if Lily is there," Snape suggested after they had been standing there for a few minutes.

Feeling the radiating anger from Sirius, Remus shook his head. "I don't think it would be a good idea for us _both_ to go up. Why don't you go check? I'll stay here and wait for you."

Snape shrugged. "Whatever suits you," he muttered before climbing the steps to the top.

As soon as Snape ascended the stairs, Remus called out, "Come out, Sirius." There was a quick shuffling noise, but no Sirius popped out. "I know you're there. You've been stalking us since we left the Great Hall." Remus waited patiently for two minutes. "Are you mad at me?" he then asked softly. "I didn't mean to make you mad at me. I just thought it would be funny, and you stole all my clothes. I'm sorr-"

At this point Sirius burst out with a guilty look on his face that was shaking back and forth quickly. "Moony, I'm not mad at you. You shouldn't be the one apologizing. I should. Remus, don't be sad."

The other boy smiled and, to anyone else, it seemed as if he had only pretending to be upset, but Sirius knew better. "Remy," he began quietly before he was smacked on the head.

"Don't call me that," Remus replied playfully. "Why were you following us anyway?"

Sirius looked indignant as he replied, "I wasn't following you. I was going to have my own little fling up there when I saw you and Snivellus heading in the same direction, so I thought I'd stay my distance while the two of you went on your own."

Remus raised an eyebrow as he asked, "So you were planning to have a 'fling' with Lily? Does Prongs know of this sudden betrayal? Or is it sudden?"

"My dear Moony, it was never a sudden betrayal of any sort. You see, I have always been deeply and madly in love with Evans ever since the day we met. Of course, I told James this and he agreed to take on the role of being deeply and madly in love with Evans so no one would suspect that I was."

"And why would he do that?"

"Why to protect my status as a ladies man of course!"

Remus burst out laughing at this but for all the wrong reasons. "And when," he paused to laugh, "Padfoot," to take a deep breath, "was the last time you were with," to laugh again, "a lady?"

Sirius pouted with his arms crossed. "A little over a week ago," he replied huffily, not liking the fact Remus was making fun of him while wearing the most inane outfit he'd ever seen. Speaking of which, "Moony, I don't have clothing like that."

"Pardon?" he asked when he'd finally calmed down.

"I said, I don't have clothing like that. Where did you find that?"

"Oh, it's actually your favorite shirt and a pair of pants that I changed." He looked at Sirius who stared back with confusion. "You know, with magic because I am a wizard."

"My _favorite_ shirt? You mean the purple one with a Heffalump on it? And you've been using that to wipe your dirty mouth?!"

"So you've noticed," Remus replied calmly. "I thought you were too focused on my lovely scar-free chest to notice."

In response, Sirius tackled Remus to the ground and started tickling him mercilessly. Remus began laughing all over again as he tried to catch the hands that attacking him, but it was a futile attempt. When Sirius stopped his attack, which was only after a few moments, it was only because he realized that Remus' chest was in fact scar-free and was also very lovely.

Still sitting on top of the other boy, Sirius asked, "Why don't you have any scars?"

Remus smiled, "This cream. But it doesn't last long and is a great hassle to put on. Plus there are some side effects."

"Like what?"

"Like increased strength!" In an instant, Remus had knocked Sirius down and was now straddling the other.

As he tried to push Remus off, he kept his face down so the other boy wouldn't see that he was blushing like mad, and it was at that moment that Sirius realized he was physically attracted to Remus. Of course, being the perceptive boy he was, Remus noticed the blush and, as he was pushed over, he too realized that Sirius was physically attracted to him.

"Really, why were you following us?" he brought up again suddenly when the two were lying down next to each other, too stunned by the realizations to continue fighting.

Sirius shrugged as he rolled over to lie on his stomach. "I thought maybe you two were plotting something behind my back. And, even if you weren't, I had to make sure he wouldn't rape you or anything. I mean, you never know, especially with that _thing_ on. I pretty sure even James felt like raping you out there."

Remus laughed lightly and shook his head. "Sirius, no need to feel jealous of Severus. You know I'd only plot things with you, James, and Peter."

_I know you're jealous of him, but it would be nice if I didn't have to worry about you exploding from the broom closet every time I spoke to him._ "I'm not jealous!" he replied, half to himself. "And I'm not going to go exploding from broom closets."

"Broom closets?" Remus wondered with an eyebrow raised. "Why-"

"Nothing. I said nothing," he lied.

"Sirius." Remus drew out his name. Usually, it made Sirius spill out whatever he was keeping inside, but not this time.

Sirius smiled and stood up. "Nothing. I'm going to go play with the Giant Squid now." With that said he ran off with a blush from embarrassment and something else on his face.

--

When Remus returned to the dormitory, no one else was there. He had seen James when he popped up at the portrait hole to pester Lily and saw Peter left alone at before an empty chess set on his way up the steps. He figured Sirius was probably busy planning the party which meant that he would be able to have a nice night all alone reading a book in the comfort of his bed. Of course, he didn't want to do that in tight pants and a floofy shirt, so he went over to the foot of Sirius' bed to find something nicer to wear.

He had found the comfy pajamas he'd seen Sirius wear before and was closing the lid of the trunk when he saw some papers sticking out from under the bed. Remus reached down to push them back when he saw his own handwriting on them. At first he thought Sirius might have stolen his homework, but then he realized Sirius had stolen something completely different.

_Lily would kill me if she knew Sirius had this._ Quickly, he gathered them all up when he read the part with the broom closet. At that point, he stopped and smiled at Sirius' thoughtfulness, but another thought hit him and his smile fell. _Could it be that Sirius thought _I_ had written it for someone else?_ He thought back to the past week and a half and about how _strange_ their friendship had become. _Merlin, it couldn't be, could it?_ It was then, just as the door handle to the dormitory turned and Remus shoved all the papers back under Sirius' bed, that Remus came to the realization that Sirius liked him.

--

A/N: Yeah...I don't quite get how this really connects to Step 4 either, but hey! something happened right? So I'm not sure exactly what Step 5 should be...or if I should have something else before that. So, any ideas?


	6. Sirius' Party

"What are you doing, Moony?" Sirius asked when he entered the room and saw Remus crouching at his bedside.

"Nothing," he responded innocently as he stood up. "I was just borrowing your pajamas since I still can't find mine." Remus started taking his shirt off to change when he suddenly felt uncomfortable about doing that in front of Sirius. He told himself that it had nothing to do with Sirius liking him, and in truth it probably didn't. Remus was just beginning to feel embarrassed about his body in a way that he never had been before. "I'm going to go get ready for bed," he said with a shy smile before he disappeared into the bathroom.

"But it's only nine!" Sirius called after Remus fruitlessly. After hearing the door shut, he shrugged and sat down on top of his bed. Of course, Sirius hadn't actually been playing with the Giant Squid. Instead, the dear boy was busy making things ready for his party which would be in two days. He had gotten the Headmaster's permission to use the Great Hall, thus allowing _all_ the students left in the school to attend, and the house elves had kindly offered their services for the party. All that was left were the entertainment and the decorations. Entertainment was easy to cover, after all, he _was_ the Sirius Black, and he would ask Remus about the decorations when he came out. "I don't know why Moony wants to decorate so much. It seems like such a hassle."

"What's a hassle?" Remus asked with a towel covering his head.

"Remus, didn't you already take a bath?" Sirius asked before noticing how adorable Remus looked in his scarlet pajamas. _Adorable? Sirius Black does not think any _guy_ looks adorable in anything!_

Remus yawned as he tugged the towel off, giving his hair a fuzzy look topped with a halo in the odd lighting that the room had. "Yeah, but my head was itchy so I thought I'd wash it again." He tossed the towel aside and threw himself on the bed. For a moment, as he lay there next to Sirius, he had forgotten about all he had come to realize that day.

Unable to stop himself, Sirius reached out and started smoothing out the ruffled hair. When Remus sighed relaxingly, Sirius realized that he liked Remus in the _like_-like sort of way. His hand stiffened and pulled back as if he had been burnt. This caused Remus to sit up with a confused and hurt look on his face that only made Sirius feel very guilty.

"What's the matter, Padfoot?" Remus asked before he caught a frightened and equally confused glare in Sirius' eyes. Without waiting for a response, Remus smiled a little sadly and went over to his own bed. "I think I'm going to go to sleep. G'night, Sirius."

"Remus," Sirius said hastily, "don't sleep yet."

"Why not?" he asked in a rushed manner very softly. It was strange as Remus was beginning to think he may also have feelings for Sirius as well. He had never thought about it before (and unlike Sirius, Remus _really_ had never thought about it), but only because Sirius had never behaved any differently than he usually did. But now…now it was different and Remus didn't know what to think.

"Because," Sirius paused, trying to think of a good reason. "Well because we haven't spoken about the decorations yet. Yeah," Sirius smiled and bounced over to Remus' bed. "You wanted to decorate, didn't you?"

"I did," Remus began slowly, "but can't we talk about it tomorrow?"

Sirius frowned, trying to think of what he might have done wrong. "Are you tired, Remus?"

"Not really."

"Are you mad at me for stalking you earlier? Because I didn't mean-"

"No." Though the word was short, Remus said it very gently and that was enough to make Sirius drop the subject.

The two boys watched each other, waiting for something to happen. In Sirius' case, something miraculous such as suddenly snogging one of his best friends even though he wasn't quite ready to accept that he liked said best friend. As for Remus, he was hoping Sirius would talk about what was on his mind. When neither happened, Remus cautiously asked, "How have you been doing lately?"

Caught off guard by the question, Sirius replied shortly, "Why do you ask?"

"You've just been acting really…strange. I feel like everything's really tense between us sometimes and, after we blow up at each other, you act really cautious and nice." Remus shrugged. "The nice part I like, but not the cautious. Sirius, I'm not-"

"A glass doll. I know." Sirius sighed and pressed his head against Remus' shoulder, not wanting to look at the other boy, but dying for the contact. "Sorry, Remus. It's just," he stopped. If he wasn't able to tell himself he liked Remus, how could he tell Remus? And what if Remus didn't like him? They have been best friends for six and a half years. What if Remus thought he was peverted? "The party has been kind of stressful," he lied instead.

Remus smiled and shook his head. "Then you shouldn't have planned a party."

Sirius sat up and glared at Remus indignantly. "Not plan a party? It's Sirius Black's first Christmas at Hogwarts. The world would go _mad_ if I didn't have a party to celebrate."

Remus shrugged with a wry smile. "Well then Sirius Black will have to deal with his stress on his own." That said, Remus shoved Sirius out of his bed and yanked the curtains shut.

Of course, the moment Sirius fell to the ground James came in proudly bearing yellow polka dots on his face.

"Did poor Padfoot get thrown out of bed again by dear Moony?" he asked with a mockingly sad face.

"Wanker," Sirius replied with a grin. "At least I don't have yellow dots on my face. Did Evans not like your wonderful poem?"

"Tosser. My poem was beautiful," James responded with a glare that meant he was going to attack soon.

"What was it this time?

'Look at you, Evans,

All sad and alone,

And look at me, James,

Smothered by girls.'"

"You ponce," James roared as he lunged at Sirius who readied himself to be attacked. "That didn't even rhyme!"

"You never rhyme anyway!" Sirius screamed back.

Meanwhile, on his bed, Remus came to thinking about Sirius, the papers, and what would happen next.

--

It was the day of the party and Remus was hiding from Sirius who apparently had issues with his decorations. Remus thought that having the traditional things, some red and green banners, some holiday wreaths, some candles floating around, and the like was lovely and simple enough, but Sirius thought otherwise. Despite the fact that red and green were Christmas colors, Sirius hated the idea that Gryffindor and Slytherin colors would be matched together. Remus suggested getting rid of the silver and gold bells, but Sirius was set against the idea. Then, after arguing with Sirius about why having mistletoe flying around the Great Hall would be a bad idea, Remus decided he had enough and ran away.

Of course, Remus wasn't just running away from Sirius and his complaints, but he was also just running away from Sirius in general. He had decided, two nights ago, that he could pretend that everything between the two of them was as normal as normal was, but when Sirius started acting even stranger, Remus wasn't sure what to do. He tried limiting his touches, but every time he did Sirius looked at him unintentionally with large sad eyes. So he tried to touch Sirius more, but then he acted all jumpy. Remus couldn't stand too close to Sirius, or he got pushed away, and he couldn't stand too far from Sirius, or he got pulled in, and there was no perfect place to stand that was just right for Sirius.

He figured that before he killed himself from trying to figure out what Sirius wanted, he should talk to the boy. But before he could pull through with the plan, two strong hands pulled him out of the closet.

"Sirius," he exclaimed with surprise, "how-how did you find me?" Remus stuttered, afraid that maybe Sirius had heard him muttering.

"Magic, my dear Moony," he replied with a wink and an oddly jovial tone. Remus was going to ask if he'd been drinking, but his question was answered as he was being pushed towards the Great Hall. "I think you'll like what I did." Before Remus could protest, the doors opened and he saw nothing but a bright glare from gold and silver decorations everywhere.

Remus smiled. "I see you decided against the mistletoe."

Sirius shrugged, clearly expecting a better reaction. "There's some. I just realized that I wouldn't want my party ruined by James trying to kiss Lily every two seconds."

He was rewarded with a laugh and hug this time. "It's beautiful. Really." Unfortunately, Sirius consciously didn't want the hug that his subconscious was dying for and pushed Remus away quickly. Then he ran off to talk to someone else before Remus could say, "I think we need to talk."

He sighed and began to make his way to an empty table when Lily took hold of his arm and dragged him to the dance floor. Immediately, she placed one of his hands on her back and clasped the other with her own. He was about to say that he knew how to dance, but she opened her mouth to talk and he figured him dancing with her would prove it anyway.

"So you're going to give it to him tomorrow?" she prodded quietly as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"The day after, Lily. It will be his Christmas present from you and none of us will ever speak of it again," he promised as he led her around.

"I should hope so, Remus." She let herself be spun and the strict look that had been on her face relaxed. "How are you doing?" she asked when she was pulled back into his arms.

"Rather exhausted with this whole party thing," he answered as honestly as he dared just before the song finished. "I'm sorry, Lily. I would really ask you for another dance but James is storming over with the angriest face I've seen and it's directed at me." He took her hand and kissed it to tease James and to apologize once more to Lily before he disappeared in the crowd of other people.

At least, he thought he had disappeared, but disappearing isn't as easy and one would think it would be without the invisibility cloak. But clearly, he hadn't disappeared because a gentle hand placed itself on Remus' tense shoulder and squeezed it lightly. His head jerked around and found worried green eyes framed by light hair staring back.

"Is everything alright, Remus?" Alexander asked as he pulled on Remus' shoulder to make him turn around.

Remus smiled in return. "Just fine." He was surprised to find that his smile wasn't forced and relished silently in the fact that the Ravenclaw could always make Remus relax.

He was responded by a brilliant smile before the white teeth parted and wondered, "Would you like to go for a walk?" Clearly, Alexander could tell something was on the poor boy's mind and he wanted nothing more than to relieve Remus of his great burden.

Remus was about to respond yes and talk about everything that had happened in the past few days, just to get it off his chest, when Sirius barged into their conversation loudly and with a girl.

"Alexander, right?" he asked. "This is Tyler from Hufflepuff," Sirius added without waiting for a response. "She has some questions for you." Then he grabbed Remus by the wrist to a dark corner.

"Sirius," Remus sighed. He wanted to scream at the dark-haired boy, but Remus knew better than to cause a scene, so he waited for Sirius to explain himself.

"She had questions," he answered, his face precariously close to Remus'. "I thought it would be rude not to introduce them."

"Right," Remus muttered and for once he didn't know what more to say. It was strange. Remus wanted to push Sirius away, the way he had been doing lately, and go back to Alexander who he was sure would take all the stress away. After all, for the past four weeks, Remus had been slowly falling for the blond boy. Yet, at the same time, he wanted Sirius to lean in just a little closer so that… "I should go," he said suddenly as he stepped away from Sirius.

"Go where?" Sirius wondered with surprise and hurt in his voice.

Remus smiled sadly and looked away quickly so he wouldn't have to look at Sirius' sad face anymore. "To play with the Giant Squid, of course." Then he disappeared from the Great Hall for real this time.

--

He sat in the dormitory, not exactly sad about missing out on the party, and calmly went over his thoughts. For one, he was starting to find himself attracted towards Sirius, and he wasn't sure if that was a smart thing to do. After all, Sirius was known for his short relationships that rarely ever lasted over a week. Remus wasn't sure he wanted to deal with the pain of losing Sirius again. It had taken so long for Remus to get him back that time and it had hurt so damned much.

Another thing, supposing something did happen between them and it lasts for a good while, what happens when it ends? Will they still be friends? And what about the papers?

Remus fell to the floor and swept his arm under Sirius' bed until he got all of them. As he gathered them together, he wondered what would happen once Sirius noticed they were missing. And what about Alexander? Remus cursed himself for being so uncertain all of the sudden. He had been so intent on making something happen with Alexander and suddenly Sirius steps in and everything crumbles away.

Remus bit his bottom lip as he stared at the stack of papers that started the whole mess and wondered what would have had happened if he never suggested the idea to Lily in the first place. Then, an idea hits him. He'll make a copy of the papers and give them to James. He'll continue pursuing Alexander, but not as much as before. And he'll add on to the steps, as soon as Sirius finishes reading the ones already there, and see how far that gets him.

He laughed gleefully as he whipped out his wand and began copying. Even if it all ends up blowing up in his face, it will have been a wonderful prank on Sirius while it lasted.

--

A/N: And that's why Remus is the ultimate pranker. Honestly, I had never planned for Remus to be so...you know, that word for people that chase after other people? But whatever. They'll have their fun. Also, updates will be rather infrequent now, can't promise anything more than once a week. I have my own writing projects to be doing as well as a job for which I have no idea what I'm working on. So...enjoy the chapter while it lasts and, I hate to nag, but please don't pressure me to update. I'll feel guilty and then eat candy and then grow fat. And if I'm fat, I'll get depressed. Then I'll never ever ever update again.


	7. Step 5: Giving Gifts

_Step 5: Next time you give me something, think about whether or not _I _will like it. __I don't want one of those generic gifts like flowers or chocolate or something like that. I want something that will tell me you've taken the time to think about me when you bought it._

"Fuck," Sirius groaned as he read the step. It was five-fifty in the morning on Christmas day and Sirius had already finished opening all his presents. He was content with the pile of gifts he received from his adoring fans. He had been happy about the new set of Exploding Snaps cards from Peter (his old set had been "accidently" fed to the Giant Squid). He felt joy when he opened the package from James containing a bag full of joke items. He was exceedingly pleased when he found a package from the Potters with some clothes and a sweet letter that said how pleased they were to have Sirius as part of the family and that if the clothes didn't fit he should try switching them with the ones James had because it was likely they mixed up the packages. But Sirius was sure he had never felt happier than when he tore open the plain wrapping of Remus' present to find a book of motorbikes, a manual for how to take care of one, and a decal for Sirius to put on his motorbike when he finally got one.

Now, Sirius, finished with flipping through the book of motorbikes, was sitting on his bed in a terrible fix. All he had gotten for Remus was a few bars of chocolate and Remus had gotten all these things for him. Sirius bit his bottom lip with a frown. First of all, Remus didn't want things like chocolate and while Sirius _had_ been thinking of Remus when he bought the present, he clearly hadn't been thinking as much about Remus and Remus had of him when he got Sirius _his_ present. And what's more, all these "he"s and "his"s were getting him confused about whether he was thinking about himself or about Sirius- no- Remus.

He sighed and shoved everything off his lap so he could lie down on his back and think about his problem in a more comfortable position. However, it seemed that no matter what position he tried, Sirius couldn't find the perfect one. In the end, he was sitting upright again, only this time he was on Remus' bed and staring and the beautiful sleeping face.

Sirius smiled an odd smile before he realized he was smiling an odd smile and went back to frowning. It was now six-thirty and he still had no solution for his problem. He had to get Remus something different, something better, something that would prove to Remus that he loved him. Wait no. Not _loved_ but thought about him. Sirius nodded. Thought about was a better phrase than loved because Sirius Black certainly did not love Remus Lupin. Well no more than he loved James Potter. And Merlin knows, Sirius Black does not love James Potter in the sort of love that meant he wanted to snog him silly.

When he had had enough of his inner argument, Sirius looked down at the pile of presents he was sitting next to. Then he had an idea. While this idea did not solve his problem entirely, it did solve part of it. Carefully, Sirius dug through the small pile and found the present he had given to Remus. Then he took it out and tossed it onto his own bed. He was about to follow the present when Remus stirred awake.

"Sirius?" he asked, clearly not in the mood to figure out why there was a sixteen-year-old boy sitting in his bed looking like he had just done something wrong. Instead, Remus shook his head and sat up. He prepared to groggily wipe at his eyes, but the image of presents woke him up well enough. Remus grabbed the first present eagerly and tore away the paper. "_The Adventures of Gilderoy Lockhart: The Lost City of Atlantis,_" Remus read out loud before laughing hysterically for a few minutes. "Remind me to ask Peter later where he found this."

"Why?" Sirius asked immediately.

"Well, I've been trying to find this book. It's supposed to be the biggest joke in the history of literature, so it's been sold out for awhile now." Remus shrugged and placed it to the side. Then he opened the rest of his presents, commenting on them to Sirius. This made Sirius feel very self-conscious and he dreaded the moment that Remus would reach the end of his small pile and realize that there was no present from Sirius. But that moment never came. While Remus looked disappointed when he crumpled up all the wrapping paper into one pile, he made no comment about the absence of Sirius' present. Instead, he stretched out and suggested, after a yawn, to wake up James and Peter.

Of course, he didn't say it like that. He said it more like, "Hey, Sirius, I have a great idea to wake up James and Peter, but we'll have to move fast before they wake up by themselves." While it was but a suggestion, Remus scrambled off the bed and grabbed his cloak. Sirius followed suit and as they put their shoes on, Remus explained his idea.

--

It was lucky that no one had thrown out the decorations from the Great Hall yet. In fact, it was rather odd that everything was still there. Sirius had expected Dumbledore to have gotten rid of them, but it seemed as if the old wizard was rather fond of the decorum. Anyway, it didn't matter. All Sirius had to do was get some bells, flowers, and mistletoe while Remus went to collect some snow. He plucked the last of the white flowers from their vases and quickly ran back to the dormitory.

He met Remus just outside the dormitory and grinned. Remus smiled back wickedly and held a finger to his lips. Then he slowly opened the door, making sure it didn't creak, and handed the cold bag of snow over to Sirius. Remus crept over to Peter's bed and whispered, "Mobilicorpus." Slowly, the smaller boy's body lifted up, with the aid of Remus' wand, drifted over to James' bed, and settled down gently next to the other boy.

Remus turned to Sirius and mouthed, "Quick" while gesturing for him to come over. He did as Remus asked and the two of them quickly set up their prank. When they finished decorating, Sirius climbed to the top of the four poster bed and began slowly pouring out the snow onto a sifter that allowed the snow to sprinkle softly over the two and Remus opened up the curtains so that the light shined onto them.

During the slow moment that it took for them to wake up, James and Peter looked like they were a couple of newlyweds waking up from their first night together. The sunlight shined upon them at the perfect angle. All the gold and silver bells rung slowly and the white flowers that practically buried the two boys matched wonderfully with the red sheets. The soft snow only helped to create an even more beautiful atmosphere around them.

Unfortunately, that beauty was quickly shattered by James screaming and Peter screaming in return. Then Sirius added to the chaos, "Aren't you two lovebirds going to kiss?" as he shook the mistletoe above their heads. Immediately, James jumped out of bed while pushing Peter out as well (a terribly hard task indeed) and Remus burst out laughing.

"What the bloody hell happened?" James asked with accusing eyes on the two who were holding tightly to the closest thing to keep them steady. However, neither of them was in the mood to respond, so James reached up and pulled Sirius down from the top of his bed.

This was successful in getting back at Sirius as well as dumping a bag of cold snow over Peter who shrieked. Remus, on the other hand, was perfectly safe and laughing harder than before.

"Remus Lupin!" James shouted as he shoved Sirius aside and lunged at Remus who almost dodged the attack. "You're going to be so sorry about this after I'm done with you!" While his voice was frighteningly angry, his eyes were shining with mirth.

"Wait, James!" Remus replied, still grinning happily. "Don't you want to open your presents first? I mean, I'll always be around for you to get back at, but Christmas morning won't be."

James paused and squinted his eyes at Remus. Then, very grudgingly, he got off of Remus and went over to his bed. "You had better have gotten me one brilliant present Remus," he warned as he dug through his packages to find the one from the brown-haired boy. Quickly, he tore the paper off of it and tried to hide his excitement. "Well, Mister Moony," he said slowly as he took out the chess set he had been eyeing earlier that month, "I guess this is good enough. You have been granted pardon."

Remus chuckled and bent down on one knee. "Thank you, sir Prongs. It means so much to me on this Christmas day to have been forgiven by thee."

James responded with laughter as he threw a pillow at Remus. "Sod off, Moony. How did you afford this anyway?" he asked and Sirius wondered the same thing. Especially since he just saw Peter open an impressive looking quill set.

Remus shrugged. "I've been saving up and tutoring some kids in my free time." He smiled warmly, reminding himself and the others what it meant to be friends. "I figured that after years of getting old books and pieces of candy, you guys would appreciate something a little nicer."

--

Sirius found himself all alone in the Common Room some time after dinner. Remus had run off with Alexander with no explanation, James was still sitting in the Great Hall muttering to himself while exchanging glances between some papers in his hand and the figure of Lily Evans, and Peter had decided to…Sirius frowned and furrowed his eyebrows. Peter had decided to go to Hogsmeade to see if there were any stores open. Why hadn't Sirius followed him?

Quickly, he ran up to the dormitory, grabbed his cloak, and ran for the nearest passageway to Hogsmeade. Once he groped his way into the little village, he set off looking for Peter. Sirius figured the other boy must have a great idea about what Remus would like, especially since he found Remus that book he had wanted.

It didn't take long for Sirius to find him; Peter had been exiting from Honeydukes with a small bag of candy.

"Peter!" he called out and the boy turned to face him with a surprised look. "Hey, wait!"

Peter stepped aside from the door, so that the few people who were trying to get out could, and waited patiently for Sirius to get to him. "Sirius, I thought you were staying in," he remarked as he popped a Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean into his mouth. He made a delighted face upon discovering it was strawberry and offered one to Sirius.

"I was, but then I realized that it would be so much more fun to spend some time with you," he replied while shaking his head towards the candy.

Peter stared at Sirius suspiciously. "Not that I don't like the offer, but wouldn't you rather be with Prongs or Moony?"

Sirius took in a breath and let it out as he thought. "Well, that's the thing really. I need to get Moony a present for Christmas, but I don't know what to get him. I thought you might have some ideas."

Peter smiled, glad that Sirius hadn't gone crazy (after all, Sirius didn't usually want to spend time alone with Peter and, to be honest, he was scared of spending alone time with Sirius anyway), and suggested, "I know that Remus has been staring at that quill set for quite sometime now."

"Prongs got it for him," Sirius said with a sigh.

"Well, what about a new set of Gobstones? You did break the last set he had."

"Evans, and how was I supposed to know that Gobstones cracked under immense heat?"

"Why not get him another book?" Peter offered meekly. He was starting to run out of ideas, and it was really hard to get Remus a present. It wasn't that he was a picky person; it was that Remus didn't usually say what he liked material-wise. One had to be very perceptive in order to get what Remus wanted, and even then it was really hard.

"You already got him that great book," Sirius whined. "I can't beat that. If you saw how happy he was when he got that, you'd know I can't get him another book."

Peter blushed at the subtle compliment and shrugged. "Sorry, Padfoot. I really don't know what else Remus would like. Except for chocolate."

"No," Sirius replied bluntly to that suggestion. "I can't get him chocolate." He frowned for the twenty-third time that day and heaved a heavy sigh. "Thanks anyway, Wormtail."

"No problem." Peter, for some reason, felt guilty just leaving his friend there with no clue. So, he awkwardly patted Sirius on the shoulder and added, "Gladrags Wizardwear and Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop are still open if you want to take a look. I'm going to head back to Hogwarts now. Good luck, Pads."

--

Remus had just entered the Gryffindor Common Room after bidding goodnight to Alexander. They had had a lovely night which started off with a walk outside that quickly turned into a fight in the snow. Then, after exhausting themselves, they went to the Ravenclaw Common Room and settled down into a dark blue love seat in front of the fireplace while warming their hands with mugs of hot chocolate. It would have been perfect if it hadn't been for that soft voice in the back of his head that asked him every-so-often, "What about Sirius?"

So, he finally left the cozy place and came back to the Gryffindor Common Room with the intention of seeing Sirius. He found, however, a James standing in front of him with the most focused look he'd ever seen on the messy haired-boy.

"Moony, I need your advice," he said softly while glancing over at Lily every other second. "Can we go upstairs to talk?"

"Of course," Remus whispered back. As James fled off, Remus turned to look at Lily. After catching her eye, he winked and grinned as she sent him a scowl back. Then he raced up the stairs after James.

"So, what did you want advice about?" he asked as cluelessly as he could manage.

James sat down on Remus' bed and pulled the already worn out sheets from his pocket. "This thing. Now don't tell me that you have no idea what it is, because I know very well that the handwriting next to Lily's is yours." He glared at Remus for a moment as if unsure whether or not to trust him and then relaxed when he saw that Remus didn't deny anything. "Is this thing for real, Remus? I mean, Lily's been rejecting me since who knows when."

Remus smiled and sat down next to James. "I assure you, it's completely real."

"But why would she write this? And why were you writing this?" he asked with his eyes now staring at the papers in his lap.

"I guess she thinks it's about time to give you a chance, mate." Remus slung an arm around James' shoulders supportively. "It's a manual of sorts and think of my writing as a translation so that even an idiot like you can understand it."

James smiled wryly and lightly bumped heads with Remus to punish him. "I'm not an idiot." Then he sighed and his smile became more sincere. "We've never had Christmas together have we?"

"I don't think we have."

"Hmm." There was a pause as the two of them breathed, not knowing what next to say. "Well, thank you, Moony."

"What for?" he asked with a twinkle in his eye that meant he knew exactly what it was for.

"For being an insufferable prat of a friend and making this one of the best Christmases I've ever had."

Remus smiled happily. "You're welcome and if you weren't Prongs, I'd kiss you for saying something so sweet," he replied softly, glad to have friends that thought of him as such. Then he pulled James into a hug that was quickly reciprocated until the door flew open and Sirius gasped indignantly.

"I'm gone for a couple of hours and suddenly the two of you are like this?" Sirius shrieked as he stormed over to them.

"Sirius-" Remus began but was immediately cut off by James who shifted closer to him.

"Yeah we are. What are _you_ going to do about it?" James challenged.

"I'm going to demand that you get off of Moony this instant. It's bad enough that Evans needs to be stuck with your never-ending love, but I refuse to let Moony get caught in that." He stood over the two with a frown on his mouth but a smile in his eyes.

"Well, I'm going to refuse your demand and hold on to Moony because he's already got my never-ending love and we're going to elope in three days."

"I'm going to have to pry you off of Moony then, because I don't think he ever agreed to this eloping idea of yours."

"And why wouldn't he?" James asked as Sirius set down the bag he was holding and climbed onto Remus' bed.

"Because he's far too innocent to go off with a ruffian like you." Sirius then gripped James' shoulders and started pulling.

"I'm going to have to hold on tighter so that you can never break us apart." James, of course, did what he said and Remus became worried that his ribs would crack soon.

Luckily, that worry never happened because Peter stepped out of the bathroom and asked, "What the bloody hell?"

James and Sirius froze, giving Remus ample time to escape from James and over to Peter. "Hey, I see you're done with the toilet," he remarked and slipped into the bathroom.

"Explanation please?"

The two boys on Remus' bed exploded into laughter and that was enough to tell Peter he wasn't going to get his explanation anytime soon.

--

When Remus emerged from the bathroom, the party on his bed had disbanded and only Sirius was left in the dormitory and on his bed. He walked over to Sirius and shoved him lightly to wake him up.

"Sirius, I know my bed is nice and comfortable, which is why I'd like to sleep in it," he whispered and Sirius slowly sat up.

He smiled at Remus dazedly for a moment before remembering why he was still on the other's bed. Quickly, he picked the bag off of the ground and held it out towards Remus. "Here, it's your Christmas present. I wasn't really sure what to get you-"

"Thank you, Sirius." There was something warm in the soft tone Remus used and something very happy in the smile that he wore. And those were somethings that made Sirius very pleased with himself as Remus sat down beside him and took out the things in the bag. Remus' smile widened as he took out the black leather gloves and the bottles of fine ink. "You noticed."

Sirius shrugged, unable to hide his ridiculously large smile. "How could I not? Your fingers were always freezing whenever you came back inside and I couldn't find anymore ink in your bag."

Remus laughed and decided not to reprimand Sirius for digging around in his school bag. Then he looked into the bag and was slightly disappointed not to find anything else. "Sirius, where's my chocolate?"

The gray eyes widened out of surprise. "Sorry, what?"

"Where's my chocolate?" Remus repeated as he held the open bag in front of Sirius. "You always get me the best chocolate for Christmas. Where is it?"

Suddenly, Sirius burst into laughter as he crawled over to his bed and took the carefully wrapped package over to Remus. Remus took it suspiciously and asked, as he unwrapped it, "Are you feeling alright?"

Sirius nodded as he swallowed down his laughter. "It's just that I had gotten that for you already and then you got me all those things about the muggle motorbike and I knew that I had to out-gift you somehow and that the chocolate wouldn't do."

Remus chuckled knowing that that wasn't the reason for Sirius not giving him the chocolate. He took a bite from it and grinned. "Delicious as always." Then he reached out and pulled Sirius into a hug. "Thanks for the chocolate."

Sirius wound his arms tightly around Remus in return. "Thank you for the Christmas."

--

A/N: I keep telling myself to focus on the important things in life, like eating fruit and playing in the sun, but then I get so easily distracted. I guess this was a ridiculously cheesy part...but I mean the whole thing is cheesy, eh? Hey look! It's Christmas in July!


	8. Step 6: Knowing Friends

_Step 6: It would be nice if you were at least _nice_ to my friends. __Take some time to get to know them. After all, the chances of getting together are higher when you get along with my friends too._

Sirius Black had the ultimate prank to play on Snape. Sure, he had decided _not_ to play anymore pranks on the greasy-haired git since Remus didn't like it, but it was the beginning of a new year, the last year he would still be considered a child, and Sirius would be damned if he didn't pull one last prank on Snape. The only problem with his ultimate prank was that he had no one to help him with it. Remus wouldn't help him, obviously. James had a new "self-righteousness is the way to go" attitude that was making Sirius terribly unhappy, but seemed to be successfully gaining Lily's attention. As for Peter…Sirius wouldn't be caught dead asking Peter for help with a prank. It wasn't because Peter was no good at pranking; it was just that Sirius didn't think Peter had good ideas for pranking.

He sighed. He was about to give up on his idea when he saw something he never thought he'd ever see. Alexander Cohen had his wand pointing at Severus Snape and his pretty blue eyes narrowed angrily. Curious, Sirius slid closer to the scene and saw that Snape was scowling back with his own wand barely hidden in his sleeve.

"What the fuck were you doing?" the blond hissed.

"You mean when I was walking with Remus, my friend?" Snape whispered back with a hint of a smug smile.

"I meant when you were touching him." The wand jabbed Snape in the gut mercilessly.

He winced in pain and retorted, "I hadn't known you had made a claim on him, Cohen."

"I have more of a claim on him then you do, Snape," Alexander growled.

Sirius was stuck in between shouting that Remus was his and rooting for Alexander to hex Snape. In the end, he wasn't given either option because the library doors opened and Remus was walking out with his nose stuck in a book. Alexander backed away from Snape immediately and headed for Remus, but Sirius was faster.

"Remy!" Sirius took the pile of books from Remus and slung one arm around the other boy. Feeling it appropriate (and wanting to show the other two that Sirius was the one who had Remus), he kissed Remus lightly on the head.

A slight blush crept across Remus' cheeks as he hit Sirius on the head with the book he was holding. "I've told you not to call me that a thousand times. When will you stop? And what was that for?"

Sirius laughed and stole the book from his friend. "I'll never stop, Remy." He dodged another attack. "You can abuse me all you want, Rem, but I'll never stop!" He deliberately avoided the second question and started running away from Remus.

As he expected, Remus chased after him, demanding for his books to be returned and threatening pain. He almost ran past Alexander and Snape, as Sirius had hoped for, but Alexander shot a hand out and tapped Remus on the shoulder as he sped by. Remus stopped instantly and smiled at Alexander.

"You waited," he said in a moderately surprised tone.

"I said I would, didn't it?" Alexander replied as he grinned back a little shyly.

"I'll just be leaving now," Snape muttered as he slipped away quickly. The funny thing was that even though Sirius was the furthest away, he seemed to be the only one who noticed that Snape had left. He also noticed that Remus was no longer paying any more attention to him and frowned.

"I didn't actually think you would." Remus shrugged and looked down at his feet. "Normally, my friends just leave even if they say they won't."

"Why would they do that?"

"You know them. James and Sirius always have some new prank to plot and run off and Peter follows them because it's boring waiting out here alone."

"You know," Alexander moved closer to Remus and Sirius was finding it hard to keep himself from attacking the blond, "I don't think anything can be boring if it involves you."

Before Remus could say anything in response, Sirius dropped all of the books and rushed forwards to split the two of them up. He didn't have to though. As soon as Remus heard the books fall, he dashed to their aid and Sirius ran into Alexander instead. He paid no heed to the complaints of either of the boys as he gently picked all of his books up and cradled them in his arms.

"Sirius, what were you thinking, dropping those books like that?" Remus asked disappointedly. "I think you owe them an apology."

"What?" Sirius exclaimed in return as Alexander broke out into laughter. "Moony, you don't actually expect me to _apologize_ to some _books_, do you?"

Remus glared back, his face completely sober. "I do. How would you like it if someone stole you from the one you loved and then dumped you just like that?"

"Remy-" Sirius began, unsure about the hidden meaning behind those words and whether or not Remus actually meant for there to _be_ a hidden meaning.

Remus sighed and a grin was back on his face. "Don't call me that," he warned before he chased after Sirius, threatening to hit him, and Sirius ran as far away as possible from the forgotten Alexander.

--

"Psst," Sirius hissed in the hallway outside the Ravenclaw dormitory at eight o'clock on Saturday morning.

The first-year glanced around quickly and spotted Sirius. "C-can I help you?" she asked hesitantly, not sure why a sixth-year Gryffindor was hiding (poorly) in an alcove.

"Yeah," he whispered, beckoning for her to come closer, "have you seen Alexander Cohen?"

She nodded and said, "He should be coming out soon to get breakfast. I think he said he was very hungry."

"Fantastic," Sirius replied a little too eagerly and the girl stared at him like he was crazy. He glared back and said, "Thank you,' a little angrily. Then he made a shooing gesture because the portrait hole was opening and she hadn't gone off yet. She stuck her little pink tongue out at him and then walked away just before the portrait hole opened and a lone blond boy stepped out quite elegantly.

"Psst," Sirius hissed again and the Ravenclaw turned to stare at him. "Are you going to Hogsmeade today?"

Alexander looked around him, but found no one else around. Then he leaned his head towards Sirius and waved his hand in front of his eyes.

"I'm real, you tosser. Just answer the bloody question," Sirius said angrily as he straightened his back and stepped away from the alcove.

"I am. Why?" he replied, rather suspicious of Sirius' motifs.

"Well," Sirius leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms and legs rather sexily, "I was wondering if you'd like to go with me." His voice had lowered a few notches, giving it a manlier feel, and, if Alexander had been a girl, he would have readily said yes to Sirius.

But seeing as how Alexander was not a girl and was not interested in Sirius, he furrowed his eyes in confusion and slowly pieced together a few sentences. "I'm not interested in you, Sirius. I'm sure you're a great guy. I mean, Remus says that all the time, but really, I don't like you in that way."

"For your information, Cohen, I don't like you like that either." Sirius dropped the facade and walked over to Alexander, hoping to stand taller than the other boy, but sadly found himself at the same height. "And I am-Wait, Remus says I'm a great guy all the time?" A huge grin plastered itself over Sirius' face.

"Yeah," he replied, ignoring the smile that was taking over Sirius' head. "It's really strange, because whenever he sees a dog, he smiles funnily and says, 'I bet Sirius would love that dog. You know, he's a great guy. You should really get to know him.'" Alexander shrugged and looked over at Sirius whose smiled seemed to be increasing. "What did you want then?"

"Nothing," Sirius sung back as he began to skip away. Then he realized that he did want something. "Actually, I thought we _should_ get to know each other a little better. I mean, we _are_ both Remus' friends and he spends time with both of us _a lot_, so wouldn't it be nice if he didn't have to choose between us?" Sirius asked, his logic working wonders. Of course, he didn't really think that way. Sirius was just tired of Remus always running off to spend time with Alexander when Sirius just wanted Moony all for himself.

"That's not a bad idea," he said and Sirius scoffed.

"Of course it's not. It _is_ my idea."

Alexander laughed. "Remus also mentioned that you had a large ego. Does he know about this trip? I had said I would go with him to Hogsmeade today."

Sirius shook his head and waved off Alexander's concerns. "Just tell him you can't make it. I think we should get to know each other first before dragging Remus along, don't you think?" Sirius didn't wait for his reply because a hoard of fifth-year girls were emerging from the portrait hole and some of them looked too familiar for comfort. "I'll meet you at the entrance!"

--

Sirius sat down in the Great Hall and was enjoying his delicious breakfast of eggs and pancakes when he spotted James and Peter coming in. He grinned madly and waved at them to come over.

"Prongs, Wormtail, have a seat," he slid over so they could sit, but they sat down on the other side of the table, clearly very wary of Sirius' mood.

"Why are you so happy?" James asked cautiously as he filled his plate with everything except the eggs and pancakes.

"Because I have a date for the Hogsmeade trip today." Sirius beamed and helped himself to some milk.

"Glad to hear somebody will today." Remus sat down next to him and took his cup before draining it.

"Hey," Sirius frowned and snatched his cup back, "that was mine."

"What's the matter?" Peter wondered kindly.

Remus shrugged and used his fork to eat Sirius' food. "Alexander cancelled. As it turns out, he has other plans that involve spending the day with one Sirius Black."

James choked on his food and Peter stared at Sirius trying to make sense of the situation.

"I know," Remus said in response to their reactions. "I thought he was kidding, but it seems as if this Sirius Black fellow found him early this morning and asked him to Hogsmeade." Remus sighed and leaned his head against Sirius' shoulder. "I swear, if I ever find this Sirius Black, I'll make him pay for ruining my Saturday."

Sirius pouted and added more food onto his plate. "You know, Moony. I bet Sirius was just trying to get to know your other friends better so you don't always have to choose between spending time with us or them."

"Really, you think so?" Remus stabbed a piece of toast as Sirius nodded. "Then I guess that's alright, but now I'll have to go to Hogsmeade alone." He sat up and looked pleadingly at James and Peter.

"I wish I could help you, Moony, but Jen Carleton said she would go with me," Peter said with a shrug.

"Well, lucky for you, Moony mate, I have my Saturday free to spend with you," James offered enthusiastically. "But we better get a move on. I can't have my date going out like that." He jumped over the table and grabbed Remus' arm.

"I haven't eaten yet!" Remus protested, still holding on to his fork with the toast. "And what's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"I'll buy you something to eat," James replied as he dragged Remus away from the other two Marauders.

--

Alexander Cohen was not what Sirius had imagined he would be like. He had thought Alexander would have been nice, sweet, smart, elegant, reserved, and, most of all, boring, but the blond had proved him wrong. Yes, he was smart and nice and sweet, but he was also daring, full of crazy ideas, and a great fun guy. Sirius could see how he and Remus became such good friends, but he couldn't see why Sirius had never met him before. He blamed it on the fact that Alexander was a Ravenclaw.

They had just finished blowing up colorful pockets of snow in the faces of several Slytherins, one of which was Severus Snape, and were now making their way into the warm-but-crowded Three Broomsticks while talking about the next Quidditch game between Gryffindors and Ravenclaws. It turned out that Alexander was a new Chaser on the team and, while he had known that Sirius was a Beater, Sirius had never played against him nor had known that he was on the team. Each of them was trying to get some information about the team's tactics from the other, but both were failing miserably.

"Padfoot!" a voice called out as soon as they entered the bar. "Over here, mate!"

Sirius looked around to see where James was calling for him, but stopped when Alexander placed a firm hand on his shoulder and pointed out the table where James and Remus were smiling and waving at them. "Thanks," he shouted so the other boy could hear him as they walked over and had a seat.

"So what have the two of you been up to?" Remus asked as he gently tapped Alexander's arm to make sure he had his attention.

He was graced with a smile and a soft whisper into his ear. "Just playing around outside."

"Did you have good time?"

"An excellent one. Sirius is a lot of fun and you wouldn't believe the things we have in common," Alexander replied at a normal volume and Sirius jumped into the conversation.

"Yeah, Moony, how come you never mentioned he was on the Quidditch team?"

Remus shrugged with a pleased smile. "I never thought it was important for you to know."

"Important?" James asked as he leaned over the table to examine Alexander closely. "You mean we could have been extracting precious information from him all this time and you never told us?"

Remus pushed James back into his seat. "That was another reason why I didn't tell you." He stuck his tongue out childishly at the two of them and was responded by pouts. "Anyway, Prongs and I had a great time, didn't we?"

"Hell yeah!" James turned to Sirius to recount his day. "So we spent some time with Lily and her friends and we found out that Madam Puddifoot's actually has some delicious scones."

As James kept talking, Remus relayed to Alexander how he thought the morning went and when he finished, he asked the blond what his plans were for the afternoon.

Alexander shrugged. "If Sirius doesn't have any plans, then we could go do something. Do you still need to-"

"No, James already helped me find something." Remus grinned and turned his attention back to his other friends. "Sirius," he laid his fingertips on top of the others and his smiled softened when those slender fingers crossed with his, "what are you and Alexander going to do this afternoon?"

Sirius smiled back at Remus happily. "I thought we could go out to the Quidditch Pitch and play a bit, yeah?" He looked at Alexander as he said this. "Just to see how good you are."

Alexander smirked at the challenge. "Sounds good."

--

"Slug him, Padfoot! Slug him!" James shouted as Alexander came dangerously close to his goal with the quaffle.

"Got it!" Sirius waited until the bludger came close enough and then hit it towards Alexander.

"Damn it, Sirius!" Alexander ducked just in time, but dropped the quaffle. James quickly caught it and started flying towards the other end of the Pitch. "JAMES!" he shouted before chasing after him.

Remus was sitting in the stands watching the game. Though he thought that two on one was unfair, he didn't feel like mounting a broom and getting up there. He wasn't very good at flying and being up so high in the air scared him a little.

"Fuck," Alexander laughed as James scored. "This is unfair. Two experienced players against one first-timer?"

Sirius shrugged with a wide smile. "I guess you're right. So, Prongsie-boy, you're on your own." Then he flew down and settled next to Remus. "Are you mad, Moony, that I ruined your Saturday?" he asked quietly, looking honestly sorry.

"No, Padfoot. In fact, I had a really great day, even if Alexander ran away with you." Remus laughed and settled his head comfortably on Sirius' shoulder. "As long as you promise never to steal my date again without at least a twenty-four hour warning, I think I'll live."

"Sorry, Moony. I didn't know it was a date," Sirius apologized earnestly.

"It wasn't. He was just going to help me find something, but James did instead, so it's okay. Besides," Remus looked up at Sirius with his golden eyes, "I'm glad you're becoming friends. It's a lot nicer."

Sirius beamed back at Remus. "Yeah, I figured it would be nicer than stalking you all the time."

Remus turned back to see Alexander make a goal and James looking undaunted. "Creep."

"Am not!"

--

A/N: I think I'm going to set a goal to update on Saturdays...because nothing really updates on Saturdays except for Honeydew Syndrome (at least it used to, now I think it updates twice a week now). And I'm going to update the Ouran fanfic...not that you guys care/know what I'm talking about. By the way 6teen is a great show! Those Canadians are amazing.


	9. Step 7: Perfect Distractions

_Step 7: __I know you almost always get perfect grades, but would it kill you to study sometime? If you won't, at least pretend you are or stop distracting me from my own studies._

Sirius frowned. Despite all his efforts to spend time with Remus and Alexander, he had been kicked out of the library once again. Of course, he had tried to take Remus with him, but it turned out that Alexander's parents were good friends with Madame Pince, so he was able to convince her that Sirius was the one at fault. Normally, Sirius wouldn't mind being kicked out of the library, but he didn't trust Alexander. The two of them may have gotten to be good friends lately, but when it came to Remus, there was no such thing as friendship.

As such, he decided he would pay a visit to his dear friend James Potter. He found the dear boy in the quidditch pitch and realized that he had practice today. Before James could spot him, he fled to the locker room and changed. Then, as James was railing on the newest keeper, he flew up into the sky and took his place next to the other beater.

Sirius thought he had done it when James merely glanced and him and screeched for practice to resume. However, he thought wrong. They had just barely touched the ground when James placed a hand on Sirius' shoulder and whispered dangerously into his ear, "If you're late for the next practice, I'll shave off all of the hair on your head, make a wig of it, and glue it onto Snape's head."

Sirius shuddered at the unpleasantness, but before he could tell James how incredibly sorry he was, the team captain was in the locker rooms and joking with all of his fellow teammates.

--

Remus, on the other hand, was having a fantastic time. At first, he had been extremely upset that Sirius had almost gotten him booted from the library, but when Alexander saved him, he couldn't help but feel just a little sorry for Sirius. The fun really began when Sirius had grumpily stormed out and Alexander showed Remus a different part of the library he had never noticed before. It was the section of muggles, the one subject Remus never actually felt the need to study.

It was strange. Alexander had started off by dragging Remus over to the books to make Remus help him on his Muggle Studies project. Though Remus had said over and over again that he would _tell_ Alexander the answer to his questions, the blond didn't think that was enough. Apparently, Remus wasn't a credible source to be using and he _had_ to use the books. After all, Remus wouldn't just take his word for any Charms homework, so why should Alexander do the same with his Muggle Studies work?

While Alexander was searching for the books on the modern invention of color television, Remus pulled a book labeled, "Muggle Technological Advances" off the shelf. He glanced over at the other boy who was avidly stripping the shelves of any book that mentioned television and decided that it would be awhile. So Remus sat down and opened the book to the first page which started off with, "As long as man has been around, there have been wizards and muggles. Though one might assume that the advances of both the magical community and that of the muggle community occurred somewhat simultaneously, it is clear that the magical community advanced far quicker. One example of such would be the floo network versus the telephone. The floo network was created in the year 1652 by the great wizard Alphard Fansit. While the first floo network hadn't allowed for a person to step out of the fire, it did allow for direct communication, even allowing the people to see each other as they spoke. On the other hand, the telephone was invented in 1876 by Alexander Bell. The earliest form of the telephone was faulty and land based."

Bored of what he had already learned in third-grade, Remus tossed the book aside and picked out another one called, "Muggle Tales: A day in the life of teenage muggle." Amused by the title, he opened the book and found it even more hilarious. It began with, "A muggle is a confusing creature, but the most confusing sort of muggle is a teenage one. Our fascinating adventure will be with the muggle Boris Twany and it will start as soon as the muggle wakes up." Underneath the short paragraph was a picture of Boris snoring lightly under his sheets.

"The muggles, as we have seen before, rely on _digital clocks_ in order to wake up. These inventions use _electricity_ in order to work and are quite a feat without magic. The _digital clocks_ are able to wake up the muggle with a sharp ringing noise, a constant beeping sound, or with the tunes from a _radio_." After this, there was another picture of Boris, only this time he was being woken up by the clock. He jerked up in the bed and grumpily hit the snooze button before lying back down. "The _digital clocks_ also include a _snooze button_ that causes the muggle to sleep for another ten minutes or so before ringing, beeping, or singing again to wake the muggle."

The rest of the book went similarly and Remus laughed at all the absurd explanations. He found it extremely funny how the author talked about muggles as if they were centaurs or unicorns. He had thought the books would be an experience of a day as a teenage muggle, but it was actually an explanation of how a teenage muggle's day went. When he finished reading the book, (it ended with, "Now the muggle goes to sleep at two in the morning. He strips himself of all clothing except for his undergarments and forgets to brush his teeth. This is why the muggle will grow up to have bad teeth. Then he buries himself under his warm covers and tosses and turns until he falls asleep. Many muggle habits are similar to our habits, but it cannot be denied that the wizarding ways are far superior to those of the muggles") Remus decided that he had to find all the other books in the series.

Remus looked on the shelves and only found one book: Muggle Tales: A day in the life of a baby muggle. He frowned, expecting there to have been at least five others from the series of fifteen, and took the book to the counter. He checked it out and was about to leave the library when he remembered that he had forgotten his bag with Alexander. A guilty blush spread across his cheeks as he realized he had also forgotten about the blond.

Remus rushed back to the muggles section and, thankfully, found that Alexander had been too absorbed in his own books to realize Remus had gone missing. He laughed softly to himself about what a pair they made. They were both so easily distracted by books that they couldn't even notice when one was missing or not. Not like him and Sirius. If Sirius left, Remus would be able to tell right away from the sudden silence.

Remus shook his head, pushing aside the sudden comparison and picked up his bag. He promised to meet Alexander later and left the library to find Lily who would find his new favorite books as amusing as he did.

--

"Moony," Sirius crooned into the golden-brown hair where he thought Remus' ear was.

Too used to Sirius behavior, he asked a sharp, "What?" and set his quill down, knowing he wouldn't be able to get any work done. It was also almost sunset and he would have to leave soon.

Sirius pouted and sat down next to Remus. "I just wanted to know what you were doing on my birthday." Then he jumped up and leaned in towards Remus. "It's tomorrow, you know. I was thinking we could sneak into Hogsmeade and have a party there. I don't think Madam Rosemerta would mind. We could even get a private room. Just the four of us, yeah? What do you say?"

Surprisingly, Remus leaned back and laughed. "Is that all, Padfoot?" He smiled and placed a hand on the top of Sirius' head. "It sounds great, but don't you want to have a big party like you do every year?"

Sirius shook his head slowly to make sure Remus' hand wouldn't fall off. "Those parties are boring, plus Lily always ends up yelling at us which makes Prongs depressed and he seems to be getting somewhere with Lily this year and I don't want him to blame me if she gets mad at him."

Remus was slightly shocked at how perceptive Sirius was about this matter, but then again, it wasn't hard to see that Lily was indeed warming up to James, if only slightly. "Well it's your seventeenth birthday, Sirius. So, we'll do whatever you want." He glanced briefly out the window before pushing himself out of the chair with the help of Sirius' head. "I'll see you later, okay?"

Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus before grinning enthusiastically. "'Course, Remy." Then he dashed out of the common room before Remus could react to the nickname.

--

Wormtail dashed to the tree and leaned his weight against the knob that froze the tree. Padfoot dipped his head in an attempt to nod before disappearing down the tunnel that led to the Shrieking Shack. The rat squeaked in return before climbing up the snout of the stag beside him. He perched in between the large antlers as he and Prongs waited for Padfoot to lead the wolf out.

They waited for five minutes, four howls, three sharp barks, two growls, and one squeak before the two of them emerged, dog in lead. Prongs started for the Forbidden Forest, but Padfoot quickly ran past him. He was followed by a bounding Moony, who was chasing him like he always did.

It was a grand game the four of them played once every month. For once all the roles switched. Moony wasn't the mature one who took care of the three of them, instead Prongs was. Wormtail had perfected the art of silently being the one in charge of these monthly escapades. Padfoot was the one who was always with Moony to keep him out of trouble and to keep him safe and Moony, for this once a month, was the one who needed the three of them most to stay sane and to not be a danger to society.

They had reached the edge of the forest when Moony pounced onto Padfoot, causing the two of them to fall over and roll down a trench. At the bottom a few sharp rocks cut into the wolf's hide, but, being used to much worse pain, he straightened up and crawled out of the hole. Blood dripped carelessly as he waited for the black dog to get out. Padfoot, a little startled the Moony wasn't doing anything about his wounds, took a little longer to leave the whole, but when he did, he started licking the cuts. Irritated that his favorite companion wasn't playing, the wolf nudged aside Padfoot's caring tongue and snapped at his disappointed face before running off.

Prongs watched the sadness in the gray eyes as they saw Moony run through pointed branches and brush against thorny plants. For a moment, the stag didn't understand why the dog seemed depressed nor why he shuddered at each new cut the wolf received, but realization soon hit him and, in his stag state, he smiled.

Moony turned around and beckoned for his friends to come over with a commanding bark. Prongs lowered his head and nudged Padfoot with one of his antlers before he carried Wormtail over to where the wolf was waiting for him. The dog appeared moments later and tried again to tend to the wounds, but Moony was too quick. He rushed over to the edge of the lake and seemed to glare longingly at the reflection of the moon in the frigid water. Then he howled twice, once at the shimmering moon in the lake and once at the real moon, haunting him, in the sky.

The three Animagi stared in fascination at how the light from the water lit up the werewolf in a hauntingly beautiful way. His fur was no longer gray. It was black at the bottom where no light hit, blue in the middle from the eerie glow of the lake, and white at the top of his head from the brightness of the moon. His golden eyes were shut as his snout pointed upwards in a long agonizing cry. It was almost as if he was asking the skies why he was condemned to be in this state, why the gods hated him so, and why, why was it _him_ of all people. The sight was painful watch, but none of them could turn away from the mesmerizing scene.

It wasn't until Moony quieted, that the three of them realized how far away they had stopped to watch him. Padfoot responded to the howls with several whines of his own as he ran to be next to the wolf and to comfort him. However, the mournful moment Moony had was gone in an instant and he had jumped into the freezing lake for some stupid reason. This caused all of them to scream (or scream as best they could) and run to the edge of the lake. Padfoot was the only one who jumped in after Moony. Prongs was afraid he wouldn't be able to swim in this state (not to mention it was the middle of winter and the lake was frigid) and Wormtail, being on the stag, didn't want to go in on his own.

Padfoot tried to save Moony by attempting to bite on to the loose flesh on the back of his neck and pulling him to shore, but Moony had different ideas. At first, the wolf had thought Padfoot was trying to attack him, but when he realized that wasn't so, he swam away as quickly as he could to avoid the big dog. Truth was, Moony didn't mind the cold, his playmates had kept him from swimming ever since October, and he missed playing in the water.

It had taken a lot of coaxing, but the final straw was when Padfoot started shivering in the freezing water. The big golden eyes suddenly looked guilty and, instead of Padfoot saving Moony, the wolf was dragging the dog up onto land and pressing against him, trying to keep him warm. The two of them had momentarily forgotten about Prongs and Wormtail, but Prongs didn't mind and Wormtail had fallen asleep.

The stag watched the endearing moment between two of his best friends. The books were all wrong when they said that werewolves didn't care about anyone but themselves because this werewolf was trying his best to stop the dog from shivering. He was pushing himself against the dog to be as close as he could and when that didn't work, the wolf shoved Padfoot to the ground and started digging through the snow to find leaves to cover him with. Then he lay down on top of the dog and licked any area he could, believing that the warmth from his mouth could save Padfoot. A little surprisingly, the dog didn't put up any resistance against the wolf's actions. To Prongs, it almost seemed as if he were enjoying the affection.

Finally, deciding that the saliva from the wolf would probably cause Padfoot's fur to freeze even faster, Prongs nudged Moony. He took a startled step back when the wolf snarled at him and pressed closer to Padfoot protectively, but he prodded Moony again and gestured towards the Shack with one of his antlers. Through silted eyes, the wolf understood and carefully got off the dog. Padfoot, in turn, stood up and almost glared at Prongs. In response, the stag cocked his head to the side innocently. Padfoot growled slightly, but started back for the Shrieking Shack with Moony, Prongs, and Wormtail in tow.

It didn't take long for them to reach the Whipping Willow. They woke Wormtail up and he sleepily pressed the knot again and this time all four of them went up into the Shack. Ignoring the bloodstained walls, the four of them huddled into the corner furthest away from the widow, the warmest corner, and began to settle down. Prongs leaned against one wall, tucked his feet under his body and let his head fall down to the floor. Wormtail found a crook in the corner of the room near Prongs' head and fell asleep there. Padfoot lay down next to Prongs and expected Moony to do the same, but the wolf had gone over to the bed. The dog lifted his head up and watched curiously as he pulled a blanket off the bed and drag it over. He then tossed it over Padfoot and curled up next to him, keeping as close as he could. Padfoot grinned as he put his head gently on top of Moony and licked one wound clean. The wolf whined until he stopped. Then they fell asleep comfortably until the sun began rising and Moony changed back to Remus.

--

While Remus was at the Hospital Wing being treated for the minor cuts and bruises he had received as well as being given an opportunity to rest, the other three Marauders were getting ready for Friday morning. Peter, being the last one to properly wake, was using the bathroom and Sirius was digging through his trunk, trying to find his tie that he was certain he had flung in there yesterday, when the completely dressed and well groomed James sat down on his bed and drew out the word "so".

"So what?" Sirius asked as he pulled out what looked like a month old sandwich. He wasn't even sure where he had gotten the sandwich.

"So, I know what's happening," he replied smugly.

Sirius glanced up at him strangely. "Didn't I tell you yesterday what's happening?"

"I don't mean about your birthday, Padfoot." He sighed and then leaned close to Sirius and grinned. "I mean with Moony."

He dropped the heavy book he was holding and stammered, "I-I don't know what you mean." Quickly, Sirius shoved his head back into his trunk to avoid the questioning stare James was giving him.

"Yes you do." He stood up and walked to the left of Sirius. "My best mate, Sirius Black, is soundly in love with a certain werewolf by the name of Remus Lupin."

"I'm not in love with him," Sirius snapped back and slammed the lid of his trunk down.

James laughed and followed as Sirius went over to Remus' bed and plucked the tie off of the clean sheets. "Okay, maybe you're not _in love_ with him, but you certainly have some strong feelings for him."

"What a lie, you tosser. Just because you can't get Lily doesn't mean you should start fantasizing about things like this," Sirius scowled as he tied the tie on. He figured Remus wouldn't be needing it today, and, if he did, Remus was more likely to get a break than he was.

James ignored the insult. "I know what I saw last night, Padfoot. Moony may not have been in his sane mind, but you were and you wanted him." His smile widened and threatened to crack his face in half. "Padfoot doesn't just adore Moony, he lusts after the wolf and so do you."

Sirius shoved James aside and mumbled, "I don't lust after him. Shut up, Prongs."

"Then how exactly do you feel for our dear friend?" he asked slyly as his voice softened and became caring for the one he thought of as his brother. "What is it you want of him?"

Sirius stopped walking towards the door and shrugged. "I," he paused and turned around to face James. There was no smile on his face, no playful glint in his eye, nothing be sincerity as he said with a worried and uncertain face, "I think I really like him. And I don't _want_ anything from him."

"Not even for him to like you back?" he asked as he took a step forwards and placed a steady hand on Sirius' shoulder.

He smiled weakly with a bit of hope. "That would be nice, but he's Moony."

James laughed loudly and draped an arm around Sirius' shoulder. "And you're Sirius Black. You could make a chair fall in love with you if you really tried." He walked to the door of the dorm and as he pulled it open, he said with a wink, "Besides, Moony's got more than a bit of a soft spot for you, mate."

Peter appeared out of the bathroom moments later, having heard nearly the entire conversation, and was too fazed from that information to be angry at his friends about abandoning him.

--

Sirius had the oddest birthday that, though strange, was also very pleasant. For one, nearly everyone stopped him in the halls and wished him a very happy birthday. Secondly, almost everyone had some sort of small present, even Snape. However, Snape's present was a leash and a snarky comment that went along the lines of, "Some one should keep a mutt like you on a tight leash." Though angry, Sirius responded, "Why, Snivellus, I never knew you were into things like this." Then he tossed the gift away.

Another nice thing was that Remus was out of the Hospital Wing by lunch and had not a single scratch on him. Though Alexander dragged him away almost immediately, Remus had flashed him a warm smile and the beginnings of Happy Birthday. Not to mention, as soon as lunch was over, he promised to spend the rest of the day with Sirius and had explained to Alexander that he wouldn't be seeing the blond for a bit. Extremely pleased at his triumph, he wrapped Remus in a tight hug but let go immediately when he saw the smug smile on James' face. Remus patted his back and said that he had a great present for Sirius, but when Sirius held his hands out for the gift, Remus laughed and said he would have to wait. To which, Sirius replied, with a wink, "Is it a kiss?" Both Peter and Remus stared at him with large eyes while James burst out laughing. Sirius then pouted and shut up on the request of Professor McGonagall.

The four boys decided to skip dinner that night and for Sirius' sake (and to make him shut up) they donned their best clothing before slipping under James' cloak and disappeared into Hogsmeade. They appeared again at the door of the Three Broomsticks where Sirius convinced Madam Rosemerta with a splendid smile, a couple of words, and a few Galleons to let them have a private room. He was granted his wish and the four of them settled down onto the comfortable couches in the room as their dinner was being prepared.

"So, mates, where are my presents?" Sirius asked as he lounged on the biggest couch like a king.

Remus laughed as James went forth first and knelt down on one knee. He bowed his head and held a neatly wrapped present up in his hands. "I hope this pleases you, my liege."

Sirius stuck his nose up into the air and gracefully plucked the gift from James' open hands. "It had better or you shall be banished from my fine kingdom." Then he greedily opened the package and was delighted to find a watch in it. Not only did the watch keep track of where the other marauders were on the top layer, it had a bottom layer that told the time according to his school schedule. He noted that there was a section labeled, "Qudditch Practice" in big red letters and he chuckled. "Thanks Prongs," he said as he drew James into a hug.

"Yeah, well now you have no excuse to be late to practice, Padfoot." Then he backed away and let Peter go next.

"It's not as fancy as a watch," he said softly as he handed the present over, "but I hope you like it, Padfoot."

Sirius opened and smiled kindly at the nervous boy. "I like it very much. I was running low on invisible ink. Thanks Wormtail." Peter beamed proudly as Sirius tucked the box of ink into his bag. Then he turned to Remus and resumed his kingly act. "Well, Mister Moony, where is my splendid present?"

"I never said it was _splendid_, Sir," Sirius cleared his throat and Remus corrected himself, "Your Majesty. I merely said it was great."

He watched Remus take out a box and said, "It had better be splendid or else I'll have you head cut off."

Remus, who had been in the process of giving his gift, stepped back and frowned. "How come Prongs only gets banned but I get my head cut off?"

"Because he didn't keep me in suspense all day." Sirius held his hand out and gestured for Remus to put the present in his hand. Remus kept his frown but his eyes where shining with mirth as he placed the box in Sirius' hand. Sirius matched Remus' frown when he weighed the heaviness of the box. It was big enough to be a book and he honestly hoped that Remus hadn't given him a book. But all his thoughts were dispelled when he opened it and found a large bat logo stitched onto stretchy black cloth. He took the rest of the outfit from the box and found that it came with a belt, a cape, a mask, and some toys to throw around. "Where did you find this?" he asked incredulously.

"James helped me find it, actually," Remus replied, rather thankful not to have his head cutoff. "We had just been looking in windows for something that would interest you when we found this hiding in the corner of a shop that sold trees or something ridiculous like that."

"It was actually a muggle store," James provided. "They had the coolest things, but they're going out of business." He sighed. "People are afraid that they will bring bad luck to Hogsmeade or something. It's stupid."

He waited for a response, but Sirius had disappeared. "Where-" but before he could finish his question, the birthday boy reappeared wearing the full Batman costume.

"This is the best thing ever!" he exclaimed as he threw some of the toys at them. "Thanks Moony!" He grabbed Remus and pulled him into a bone crushing hug. Then he let go and started jumping all over the room.

He would have destroyed the room if not for the serving maid who brought in their dinner with a surprised look on her face. She glanced at the other three boys who shook their heads as if to say please don't ask. So she didn't and just set down the plates and left, leaving the boys alone to celebrate the rest of their night.

--

Remus was really beginning to regret giving Sirius the Batman suit. It had been nearly a week and Sirius hadn't stopped wearing it and pretending like he was a superhero. He even tried to convince Remus to be Robin.

While Remus didn't mind Sirius having fun or being silly, he was having a very hard time doing homework. He wasn't distracted by the way the costume clung on tightly to every inch of his body that Sirius might as well have not been wearing any clothes at all. No, Remus was distracted by the fact that Sirius kept coming to his "rescue". Every ten minutes, Sirius would jump in front of Remus and save him from Lily, from Alexander, from Snape, from his homework, from the fork he was using for dinner, from the delicious mutton he wanted to eat, from the book he was reading, from his sheets that were strangling, from the evil quill Remus needed to do his work with, from the parchment that was his homework. Once, Sirius even jumped into the bathroom where Remus had just stepped out of the shower from and "saved" him from the toothbrush he was about to use. Luckily, Remus had already wrapped a towel around his waist and he only slightly damaged Sirius' ears with his shouting and scolding. Since then, Sirius had been a tad bit more careful about when and how to be saving, but he hadn't stopped.

Now, it was Thursday night and Remus had a lot of work to catch up on. Having just spotted Sirius chatting with some girl about his costume, Remus decided this was the perfect opportunity to do his homework. Unfortunately, as soon as he got his quill out, Sirius burst into the common room singing, "Dun nananannananana Dunanannanannana BATMAN!"

Remus cringed as he heard Sirius getting closer. The point of his quill broke when he pressed to hard with it and he bent down to get another one from his bag when a large white feather was shoved in front of his face. Cautiously, Remus took it. "Thank you."

Sirius beamed from behind his mask and sat down next to Remus. "You're welcome kind civilian." Then he put his heavy bag full of books and papers onto the desk. "Actually, that was not just a random act of kindness. It pains me to say this, but it seems as if I have a predicament that needs help from a civilian such as yourself." Remus, instead of scowling at him or sighing in defeat as he had done for the past few days, raised an eyebrow and half-smiled, urging Sirius to continue. "Well," Sirius sighed and pointed towards his bag, "as you can see, I have pushed aside my school work for the sake of saving people, but the professors aren't taking this act very kindly. In fact, they have promised me several weeks of detention if I don't finish all this by tomorrow and I don't think I can take on this feat by myself. So, kind civilian, will you help me?"

Remus smiled fully and tapped Sirius' head. "I'm sorry, Batman, but I only help personal friends. I know that you mean well when you save the world, but how can I be sure of the fact that you aren't a stranger?" He leaned in, his golden eyes gleaming happily. "How do I know that you aren't Severus secretly here to take away my purity?"

The effect was immediate. Sirius pulled off his mask and smoothed down his hair. "It's just me, Moony!" he exclaimed earnestly. "Now will you help me?"

Remus laughed and took the mask away from Sirius' reach. "Anything for my hero," he said dreamily. Then he laughed again at Sirius' expression before pulling the extraordinarily heavy bag towards him and pulling out the first book that they needed for their night of homework.

--

A/N: So I have a story to tell you about the pains I went through to get this chapter out for you. If you want to skip it and just read the notes I have about this chapter, then look onto the next paragraph. It starts from when I got home yesterday at five with the most delightful plan to take a bubble bath, but I decided to check my mail first. I find out that one of my stories has been published online at Teen Ink RAW (if you want to read it, just ask). It was great exciting news, so I share it with everyone and decide to take a bubble bath. Around nine that night, I decide that I want to spread my happiness with you guys and write a chapter. Of course, by then I had forgotten that I said to update on Saturdays instead of Sundays. So as soon as I find out, I start writing, but I didn't exactly know what to write about, so it took awhile before I got an idea, and by then I had to sleep. I slept until 10:30 this morning and then promptly came back to write. Then I spent the rest of the Saturday writing, chatting with friends, testing Audition, and, all in all, being happy. By the way, if you guys know any sites that are dedicated to helping GBLTs, please tell me because I have this great idea.

Anyway, this chapter was written in about ten hours with a lot of interruptions. It's probably the longest so far and the one that has strayed most away from the step. I also realized that Remus needed a transformation so I gave him one and I kinda like that part. That's pretty much all.


	10. Step 8: Good Graces

_Step 8: __If you ever really want to get into my good graces, all you have to do is slowly bring your hand up to the back of my head and start scratching behind my ears._

Sirius was terribly confused as he read that step. In fact, he looked so perplexed that Professor Slughorn ambled up to him and asked, "What's the matter, Sirius, my boy? Is there an instruction of mine that you don't understand?" He then turned his eyes to the board and analyzed his instructions and list of ingredients.

Sirius turned to look at his Potions teacher and then at his empty cauldron. Then he jumped, shoved all his papers underneath his Potions book, and shook his head quickly. "Not at all, Professor. I was just trying to remember the first three steps while James is getting all the ingredients." He kicked the bespectacled boy next to him and beamed at his professor.

"Ah, that's very good of you, Sirius. Five points to Gryffindor for thinking ahead. And, perhaps you'd like to stop by for the next Slug Club meeting this Friday." Professor Slughorn smiled back with his eyes shining meaningfully before walking away to check on his other students.

Sirius sighed out of relief and was about to examine the eighth step again when he realized that James hadn't moved out of his seat yet. He frowned and not-at-all gently prodded James with the tip of his quill. "Prongs, go get the stuff."

James scowled in return and rubbed his arm where there was now an ink stain. "Go get it yourself."

"No way. I got it-" Sirius began to protest when Remus stopped in front of their cauldron with his arms full of potions ingredients.

"Prongs, you know how Wormtail and I aren't very good at potions, right?" He waited for James' grunt and continued, "Well, Professor Slughorn said that this potion is very important for our grade and I don't want to mess it up. Do you mind if we switch partners? Peter already has a set of ingredients." Remus smiled and gently set down the jars and powders in his arms on the table.

James looked ready to protest because working with Peter was probably the worst possible idea, but he saw that Remus wasn't going to take no for an answer and decided that if he had to go, he'd at least have a bit of fun. "'Course, Moony," James replied with a dazzling smile before drapping an arm around Remus' shoulders and whispering, while looking pointedly at Sirius, "Anything for you, mate." Then, a little too unsure of his masculinity to kiss Remus, he lightly nuzzled Remus' cheek.

Sirius jumped up at once to protest the unfair molestation of Remus Lupin, but James had already run over to Peter and Remus had shoved a cutting board in front of Sirius.

"Mince," he muttered as he focused his attention onto grinding pixie wings. It seemed as if he hadn't noticed James' actions, or, Sirius thought, as if he was used to it. He would have to corner James later about it. "The board says it has to be minced finely exactly three minutes before adding."

"Two minutes and thirty seconds," Sirius corrected as he picked up the knife and carefully minced the salamander's tail. When Remus turned to stare at him questioningly, Sirius shrugged and answered, "Alexander said that when he made the potion he accidently added it half a minute early and his potion turned out better than anyone else's."

Remus smiled warmly and went back to grinding. "If you say so, Sirius."

An hour later, Remus, being very careful not to sweat over their potion, was making one last clockwise circle in the potion while Sirius was sitting next to him being very relaxed. When he reached the exact place where he had started the circle, he pulled the big spoon out and carefully set it to the side.

"Sirius, a vial please," he asked with his eyes glued onto cheerfully yellow potion. It seemed to be glowing and Remus was feeling very uncertain about his skills even though Sirius kept on insisting that the color was right. Sirius dutifully passed on a clear vial and Remus bottled a bit of the potion.

Then he sighed and handed the finished product over to Sirius. "Please hand it in carefully. I know you have something that you're planning on dropping into Severus' cauldron, but do it _after_ you've given our potion to Professor Slughorn." After getting Sirius' grumbling consent, Remus sank down in his chair and extinguished the fire under their cauldron.

Sirius, with a half frown, was cradling the little vial of potion that Remus had insisted on slaving over for the past hour with very limited help from Sirius. He wasn't even sure why Remus had wanted to be his partner when Peter probably would have been as much help as he would have been, but he shrugged. It didn't matter because any time with Remus (even if it was time in which Remus didn't pay attention to him) was time well spent.

He picked up the quill on Professor Slughorn's desk and labeled the vial before setting it down onto the rack for the Gryffindors. Then, his frown turned into an uplifted smile as he practically bounced back to Remus while secretly tossing an entire eye of newt into Snape's cauldron. Quickly, he sat down and grinned at Remus before Snape's cauldron started hissing angrily and the sticky yellow potion began spilling out.

Sirius caught James' look and nodded once before waving aside Remus' reprimanding glare. Peter, on the other hand, was too busy monitoring the flow of the potion onto the ground to catch that it had been a prank.

"Sirius," Remus growled quietly as he drew his feet up onto his chair, "what was it?"

Sirius smiled from his seat on the table and answered, "Newt's eye. It reacts badly with cubed daisy roots and I'm rather disappointed that it didn't explode." He shrugged and his smile grew as Professor Slughorn levitated himself over Snape's cauldron being very careful not to let his robes touch the substance.

"Severus," the professor said as he tugged on his frowning moustache, "I'm disappointed in you. The color and texture was perfect when I had walked by just moments ago. I thought I told you to collect it." His large belly heaved upwards and dropped in a sigh. "I suppose that's a zero for the day then, Severus."

He began to float away when a voice called out, "But Professor Slughorn, that's unfair." The whole class turned to look at Lily Evans who seemed like the champion of justice standing on her chair. "You just said that his potion was perfect not too long ago. It isn't fair that you discredit his previous efforts on one mistake."

Professor Slughorn seemed very thoughtful of the idea and was reconsidering the grade when Sirius shouted, "How can you be sure that it was good? There are plenty of combinations that could create that color and texture."

"There's a point," the professor mumbled, but no one heard him because Lily was screaming back, "That's a lie, Black! Euphoria has a very distinct color that's hard to recreate with any other combination."

Sirius glared back, knowing that Lily was right, and asked instead, "Why are you sticking up for a Slytherin? Don't you have any house pride?"

With her face turning as red as her hair she yelled back, "What about school pride? Doesn't Professor Dumbledore tell us at the beginning of each year that there should be friendships between houses and the fewer the enemies the better? Not that you would know. I bet more than half the school is your enemy." Her dark green eyes narrowed abruptly and before Sirius could respond, she accused, "You messed up his potion, didn't you? I bet that's it. You couldn't stand having Severus be better than you at something, so you went and screwed up his potion." Sirius sneered back and started to reply, but she turned suddenly turned to Professor Slughorn, who was looking very confused back and forth between his two shouting students, and said, "Professor, please check the cauldron for any strange objects."

"Of course, Lily," he muttered as he drifted back to Snape's cauldron still seemingly very perplexed. Using his wand, he stirred around the cauldron a few times until an eye of newt came bobbing up. He levitated it out with his wand and stared at it curiously. "This is very strange, Severus. Did you put it in?"

The greasy-haired boy spoke for the first time that class and said, "No, sir. I would never mix an eye of newt into a potion with cubed daisy roots. The result would be too disastrous."

The professor frowned further as Lily smiled back smugly at Sirius who seemed to be growling very softly.

"Professor, if I may add," Snape continued, "the potion did not react unpleasantly until Black passed by. I believe he may be the cause of the disturbance." His face was surprisingly bland though his voice almost cracked out of joy.

Professor Slughorn turned his frown over to Sirius who was trying desperately to get his face as blank as Snape's. "Sirius," he asked sadly, "is this true?"

"No sir," Sirius answered a little too suddenly and angrily. "I would never."

One eyebrow rose in humor, but the rest of the round face remained sullen. "Then who is the culprit?" The room stayed silent. Most of the people there knew it must have been either Sirius or James, but they didn't know which of the two it was. Professor Slughorn sighed wearily and started floating back to his desk. "A hundred points from Gryffindor and fifty from Slytherin."

A sudden uproar occurred from the unfairness and Sirius and James were protesting the loudest. Of course, the loudest person was Lily who was shouting and screaming at Sirius to confess. Sirius was turned his attention from Professor Slughorn to Lily to defend himself and when Lily drew out her wand, Professor Slughorn stood to stop the chaos. But someone beat him to it.

"I did it, Professor," Remus voice boomed from his seat. The whole room quieted at once and Remus tapped his throat with his wand. "I did it." His voice was back to normal as everyone turned to stare at him. He looked around at them once as if asking what more did they want from him before turning his eyes away. "I'm sorry. I hadn't known what would have happened. I just thought it would have been amusing." He shrugged carelessly but tears were starting to prick his eyes as he thought about his punishment.

Professor Slughorn looked even more somber than he had the entire class period and said, "Class is dismissed. Please carefully make your way to the front of the room. No points will be deducted from either house. Remus, please stay for a moment."

The brown-haired boy sighed and carefully packed his bag. Sirius watched for a minute then realized that everything was his fault.

"Remus," he whispered urgently as he quickly shoved his things into his bag and followed him. "Remus, I'll tell him what happened and I'll-" A tinkling crash stopped him and his gray eyes widened enormously as he saw the vial that Remus had taken so much care into making on the ground and shattered into pieces. From the corner of his eye, he saw the perpetrator's greasy hair and swelled up with anger. "SNI-"

"Sirius." Remus had laid a hand on his shoulder and Sirius calmed down a fraction. "It doesn't really matter." Remus smiled painfully and Sirius practically felt his heart beg him to make Remus feel better. "Especially now that our potion is ruined. Tell Professor McGonagall that I'll be a bit late, will you?" Then he drifted up to Professor Slughorn who was talking with an enraged Lily Evans who kept shouting, "Remus never got up from his seat! I was watching him the entire time! He never got up!"

--

Sirius watched as Remus slipped into Transfiguration fifteen minutes late with Lily. They both handed notes over to Professor McGonagall who narrowed her eyes and shook her head but didn't punish them. Instead, she waved them to their seats and continued lecturing the class about the importance of keeping focus when transfiguring a living object into an inanimate object.

As she was stating the difference between that transformation and the reverse transformation, Remus sat down next to Sirius and pulled out his notebook.

"What did I miss?" he asked Sirius while glancing over at the pages that were covered with little doodles. "Apparently not much," he muttered before sighing and turning his attention to the professor.

"Wait, Remus, what happened with Professor Slughorn?" Sirius asked in an urgent whisper.

Remus shrugged and answered, "Not much. He wasn't sure who to believe between me and Lily so he decided that he would take off twenty points from Gryffindor for whoever did do it and he's going to let me redo the potion with Severus."

"With that slimy git?" Sirius sneered angrily, drawing the attention of Professor McGonagall who glared at them and flared her nostrils before continuing.

"Yes, and after I explained to him that you were my partner and shouldn't get a zero because of an accident like that, he suggested that you join us." Remus paused and caught the end of Professor McGonagall's sentence about keeping in mind that the creatures are alive on paper. "Unless you don't think you need that grade." Remus was grinning slightly, but his voice was tense and a little cold.

Truth was Sirius _didn't_ need the grade because he was doing quite excellently in potions. However, Remus wasn't doing so well and Sirius didn't trust Snape, much less Snape alone with Remus doing potions. So, Sirius scoffed and replied, as if it were obvious, "Of course, I don't need it, but you'll never pass without my help," and he was rewarded with a punch in the arm and a small laugh.

--

"Why don't you just tell Slughorn that you threw it in and stop pacing?" James shouted at Sirius when they were alone in the dormitory after lunch. Peter had decided to stay in the Great Hall for a bit longer (they were serving his favorite dessert) and Lily had taken Remus away because she believed that Sirius was the world's worst influence on him and the two of them should never ever EVER spend anymore time together.

"Because Remus told me not to," he growled back before falling back onto his bed. "He said that Slughorn would just take more points off for deceit and crap and that wouldn't be fair especially since we're already falling behind the other Houses, especially Slytherin." Then he sat up, glared at James, and fell back down.

"Well, what if you could find Snivellus' partner and have him join you too?" James offered a little helplessly as he got up from his own bed and sat down next to Sirius.

"He never has a partner. No one ever likes working with the git," he spat back with his eyes shut angrily. Sirius wasn't exactly sure why he was so angry in the first place. He got off with creating a mess in potions via Severus Snape with practically no punishment. Granted, Remus had taken the fall for him, but because of Lily's great need to prove that it was Sirius, Remus wasn't severely punished and was allowed another shot at earning a good grade. So why was Sirius so upset?

James shrugged and patted Sirius' shoulder before glancing at the clock on his nightstand. "Well, it can't hurt to work with him tonight, right? Besides, maybe if he finds out he's got to deal with you, he'll go away. It's not like he actually needs the potion for his grade either." A slow grin spread across James' face as he came up with an idea. "In fact, if you're bad enough, he might just leave."

Sirius sat up and raised an eyebrow. "And just what are you suggesting, Prongs?" For a moment, he was very interested, but suddenly the plotting gleam in his eyes was gone. "I can't be bad. Remus will get upset. I'm surprised he's so calm at the moment and I don't want him to start yelling at me. Besides, if I do anything terrible, Evans is probably going to haul Remus up to the girl's dormitory just so I can't possibly influence him at all." He grimaced and shoved James' head as the messy-haired boy grinned dreamily. "Prick."

He straighted his glasses and tried to smooth down his hair as he cleared his throat. "Well then, don't be bad," he said quite simply and Sirius looked at him strangely. How was he supposed to be so bad that Snape would leave, but not bad at all. As if reading his mind, James continued, "Be good. Be so incredibly good and kind and sweet-natured that Snivellus leaves just because he can't stand your goodness."

Sirius stared at James with his head tilted to the side as if that would make him understand the boy's plan better, but clearly it didn't. However, Sirius did come to a conclusion, but as he thought about it, he should have come to this conclusion earlier. "You're mental, Prongs."

"I am not!" he shouted back, immediately offended that Sirius would ever think that of him. "It's a perfectly reasonable plan, Padfoot," James said after calming down a bit. "Think about it. What would you do if Snivellus was suddenly nice to you? Wouldn't you think something was underfoot and want to get away from him as fast as possible?"

"I suppose," Sirius answered a little hesitantly. James had a point that acting nice would throw Snape off his guard. "But what if he just accepts that I've changed and shit?"

James laughed and shook his head as he got off the bed. "Honestly, Padfoot. Do you think Snivellus would believe that dear old Sirius Black has taken a turn for the better?" With his hazel eyes twinkling mischievously, he reached his hand out towards Sirius and nodded at the clock.

Sirius chuckled back and grasped James' hand firmly. "Prongs, my friend, I believe that for once you have an ingenious plan." After pulling himself up, he shook the hand and picked up his bag to get ready for Charms.

"I always have ingenious plans," James retorted huffily before slinging his arm around Sirius' shoulder.

Sirius was about to object when the familiar gesture reminded him of James' far-too-friendly nature with Remus earlier and the words that came out of his mouth were lined with jealousy. "Since when did you get so chummy with Remus that you'd do anything for him?" His gray eyes were narrowed in suspicion.

"Ah, Sirius, mate," James replied airily. "Since we decided to elope during Christmas. Remember? We told you about our plans to run away from the world and be on our own with no one to bother us. Especially not you." Then he ducked as Sirius brought a fist around to punch his head.

--

"Ah, Sirius," Professor Slughorn beamed as the black-haired boy came strolling through the dungeon doors with his bag swaying lightly next to him. "How kind of you to join us. I was just telling Remus and Severus here that if they do perfectly on Euphoria, then the little accident," on the word "accident" Snape scowled sourly, "will be forgotten on all our parts."

"That sounds absolutely lovely, Professor," Sirius replied with an equally charming smile and only Professor Slughorn seemed to appreciate the gesture. Remus and Snape were staring at Sirius like he had lost his mind. Sirius turned his smiling face towards them and thought that maybe, just maybe, he was acting too nice. But he quickly pushed the thought away because if he was going to get Snape to leave, he'd have to be as freaking pleasant as he could pull off. "So," Sirius said as he squeezed himself in between Remus and Snape, "how far have we gotten, _friends_?"

Both of them gaped at him wordlessly for about five minutes before Remus slowly shook his head and answered, "We've just got here, Sirius." Then he added in a softer voice, "Are you feeling alright?"

"Absolutely spiffing!" Sirius exclaimed as he pounded both of them on their backs and wriggled out from between them. "I'll go get the ingredients then, shall I? Why don't you start the fire, Remus? And you can reread the instructions, Severus. If you didn't take notes from the board earlier, I can lend you mine." He dug out a thin notebook that was clearly starting to fall apart and held it out towards Snape, still smiling.

Snape immediately recoiled from the book before frowning and pushing it aside with one finger. "I have my own, Black," he muttered back as he extracted a finely kept black notebook from his bag and started flipping through the pages.

Of course it wasn't quite the reaction Sirius had been hoping for, but still, he went off to the storage room whistling softly. He could tell that Snape was very suspicious of him, more than usual at least, and if he kept up with it, then maybe Snape would actually leave. He flung open the door of the storage room and happily plucked the ingredients off the shelves all the while keeping his happy tune going. While Remus and Snape continued to watch him warily as he returned to the table, Professor Slughorn was enjoying Sirius' joyous mood and humming along.

"Alrighty then," he exclaimed while dumping everything on the table and slipping back in between Remus and Snape. "I'll get started on the mincing, you," he pointed at Remus, "can work on the grinding," he threw in a wink which was responded with a quirk of an eyebrow, "and Severus should start cubing." Sirius glanced at the two of them with a smile, but when neither moved, he shouted, "START!" and started his own job.

After half an hour, Remus was cubing daisy roots, Snape was slowly stirring, and Sirius was sitting back in his chair and "supervising". In all honesty, he had offered to do some of the hard work, but Remus insisted that if he didn't participate fully, he wouldn't have earned the credit and Snape was highly suspicious of Sirius.

Rather bored of just sitting and watching, Sirius pulled a tissue out of his pocket and gently placed a hand on Snape's back. Before he could offer to wipe the sweat off of his face, Snape jumped back and dropped the spoon with a clang into the pot.

"Severus!" Remus shouted, momentarily abandoning his daisy roots to summon the spoon out of the pot.

"It's not my fault," Snape hissed back as he narrowed his black eyes at Sirius. "Black was up to something."

"I was not!" Sirius defended immediately as he held up the tissue. "Honestly, Remus, I was just going to offer him this to wipe his face with." He saw the disbelief in the golden eyes and widened his own silver ones innocently. "Remus, you have to believe me! I mean, I haven't done anything bad all night and I've been more than nice to both of you." He smiled as Remus' eyes softened a little out of thought. "I swear, I wouldn't hurt Severus intentionally." He paused as both of the other boys frowned. "Not anymore I mean." He shook his head and continued. "After all, I've turned over a new leaf. No more pointless pranking for Sirius Black." He beamed at them rather proudly and was disappointed when neither seemed as excited as he. "Really," he leaned in towards them, trying to get them caught up in what he was saying, "I _want_ to be good from now on." He turned his eyes to Snape intentionally. "And I promise," he held both hands up so they would see he was serious, "not to ever prank someone again without justified means." He said every word clearly and loudly to erase any unsure feelings they had about his new behavior but clearly that didn't work.

"I think," Remus said slowly after Sirius was done with his speech, "that maybe the two of you should leave." His eyebrows were wrinkled as his mouth frowned and soon Sirius' face matched his. To answer the question that Sirius was going to pose next, Remus added, "Neither of you need the potion for your grade whereas it's essential to mine and since it seems as if you two won't get along, I think that both of you should leave."

"Wait a minute," Snape objected at the same moment Sirius cried out, "That's not fair!" Then they both said at the same moment, "Why should I leave? It's not my fault."

"Well," Remus drawled out slowly as he set aside the spoon he had rescued and had been using to stir with, "I know that neither of you has done anything wrong." He picked up his knife and returned to cubing daisy roots as he explained carefully, like he would to two five-year-olds, "But you're just being distractions. I'm certain that if it were only one of you here, we would be able to work well and create a perfect potion, but with both of you, I'm afraid I'd do better on my own." He paused and gently tipped the roots into the yellow-green liquid. "And it just isn't fair if I let one stay and the other go, you understand right?" He looked over at Sirius as he was sure that Snape wouldn't be as opposed to the idea as Sirius would.

Sirius looked ready to burst at Remus' suggestion. It was an outrageous idea especially since Sirius had done nothing wrong. Nothing at all. In fact, as he kept reminding himself, he had been absolutely perfect. He hadn't made fun of Snape even when Snape had made some comment about his traitorous nature. He hadn't scowled at Snape even though that seemed to be the only expression Snape had for him all night. Sirius hadn't even stuck his tongue out at the slimy back when Snape had laughed at his inability to read simple instructions. But when Remus stared at him seriously with his big golden eyes and conveyed through them that he didn't want any trouble, Sirius glanced away and mumbled his complaints before standing up.

He pouted for a brief moment until Snape drew himself up to Sirius' height and briskly walked out of the dungeons with a quick snap of his robes. Sirius had half a mind to stay despite what Remus had said while the other half occupied itself on plotting revenge on Snape. Then he remembered the stupid promise he had made earlier and his eyes narrowed murderously before he followed Snape out of the dungeon and decided that he would have a sharp talk with the other boy filled with threats and unpleasantries.

--

Sirius was rather upset when he stormed back into the Gryffindor common room at eleven at night. Though Remus had kicked him and Snape out a little past nine-thirty, Sirius had spent a good hour bickering with Snape and had the terrible misfortune of meeting Alexander who had, quite accidentally, reminded Sirius that there was a Hogsmeade trip this weekend which happened to land on Valentine's day. It took Sirius a great deal of self-control to answer, through gritted teeth, that no, he didn't have a date and why the bloody hell did Alexander care. Clear blue eyes reeled back out of shock for a moment before perfect pink lips parted to reply, with a careful smile, that he was only wondering and that he didn't have a date either. Sirius was about to answer that that was freaking brilliant when Alexander added on a yet and a wink before strolling away.

It was a good idea that Alexander strolled away when he did because it took Sirius half a minute to realize what that yet meant and the rest of the minute to decide that running after Alexander with hexes in order to stop him from asking Remus would land him either in detention or St. Mungo's.

So after he unloaded his night of burdens onto James and Peter in an abnormally loud and angry voice, he sank down into one of the empty couches by the fireplace and sulked. Peter, after hearing the first shout of, "FUCKING HELL! WHO THE FUCK DO THEY THINK THEY ARE?!" and not eager to hear more, had skirted off to the dormitory and neither James nor Sirius actually noticed his disappearance until Sirius was done ranting. James was staring at the profile of Sirius' sulking face while the orange flames cast odd shadows across his face that made Sirius seem far more dangerous than he actually was. He sighed audibly, not knowing what else to do and having already wasted his comforting words to calm Sirius down, and got up.

He smiled with one side of his face sympathetically and patted Sirius on the shoulder. "Best not to dwell on these things, mate. And, if you ask me, I think you should just ask Moony to spend Valentine's day with you instead of waiting for him to tell you that he's too busy to." Sirius responded with a grunt and James shrugged. "G'night then."

Sirius brought his arm up and shook it back and forth as his hand flapped in a good night wave. James raised his eyebrows and Sirius grinned briefly before James went up the stairs to the dormitory and Sirius' arm fell back onto the armrest lazily. He was beginning to feel tired, but he wasn't in the mood to crawl off his chair and up to the dormitory where James and Peter were likely still awake and talking avidly about something. The prospect seemed too cheerful for him and he reckoned he shouldn't be in such a happy atmosphere especially since he had spent a good half hour of his night being nice to Snape.

He must have dozed off because the sound of a portrait squeaking open slightly and soft tired footsteps padding on the ground woke him up. They grew closer and closer and were about to pass him by when he whispered groggily, "Remy?"

Of course, Sirius knew that it was Remus who had just entered, but he wanted to be sure and, he glanced at his watch, he wanted to know what the boy was coming back at one in the morning.

"Sirius?" The footsteps paused before turning to walk towards him and the flickering fire. "Why are you still awake?"

Sirius yawned and sat up, ready to launch into what had happened after Remus had thrown him out of the potions room when he saw Remus' face trying desperately to conceal its fatigue and frustration. He frowned and ignored the questions while asking his own. "Why are you back so late? Euphoria only needs an hour and a half at most."

Remus smiled half-heartedly and plopped himself next to Sirius on the couch. "I messed up the first time. Apparently even a brief moment of interruption can ruin the potion so I had to do it again. Professor Slughorn said it was unnesscary, but he had also said earlier that if I managed to make the potion perfectly, he would raise my grade up by a letter."

"So did you do it?" Sirius asked, not bothering to move to make more room for Remus as the other boy was pressed against him rather warmly.

"No." Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he kicked his bag a little angrily. "But Professor Slughorn was tired and he said that it was close so if the next potion I make is perfect, he'll raise the grade like he promised."

"So you should have been back half an hour ago," Sirius stated with a small pout as Remus closed his eyes and propped his arms up onto the armrest.

"Probably, but I figured I had earned a nice bath in the prefects bathroom." He smiled as Sirius leaned in to smell the perfumed water on him. Then he rested his head against his arms and asked Sirius again, "Why are you still awake?"

Sirius shrugged. "No reason. I guess I had to make sure you came back safely and all that." He grinned and added, "I wouldn't want my Moony to have gone missing because no one had made sure he made his way back from the dungeons safely, would I?"

"Yours now, am I?" Remus asked with an eyebrow raised. "First James, now you? Who's next, Peter?"

"I should hope not!" Sirius exclaimed indignantly and was rewarded with a light chuckle before Remus' face fell back into its sullen look. "Remy?" he whispered after a moment of silence and prepared to duck in case Remus decided to attack.

But Remus only asked, "What?" and encouraged Sirius to continue.

"You aren't mad at me are you? I really didn't think Lily would rat me out and I didn't want you to take the blame, honestly. You shouldn't have redone the potion because the first time was perfect, really. It's unfair that all of this happened to you and-"

Remus sighed and shook his head. "Not mad, Sirius." That was the truth because Remus had learned that there were things Sirius did without thinking and they were stupid things and Sirius never meant for there to be any lasting harm, so there was no point in being mad at those stupid things Sirius did. "Just frustrated."

Sirius bit his lip and was about to feel helplessly sorry when a bit of advice came drifting into his mind. When he was certain that Remus' eyes were closed and not at all paying heed to him, he laid a gentle hand on Remus' spine. He was sure Remus stiffened under his touch for a moment but soon relaxed when his hand made its way up to the base of his neck under his soft hair. For a bit, Sirius wound his fingers in the brown hair and played with it gently and Remus sighed unconsciously. As he untangled his hand, Remus seemed to have gotten his bearings back, but quickly Sirius' fingers found the back of one of Remus' ears and softly rubbed against it.

A pleasant smile spread across Remus' weary face as he seemed to lose himself in comforting sensation and a brief thought of congratulating himself on adding that step danced across his floating mind. He was about to mutter Sirius' name when a sharp reminder struck him and he sat up suddenly, startling Sirius who had pressed closer against Remus in the past few minutes.

"What?" Sirius asked with his eyes widened in mild hurt and surprise.

Remus stared back for a moment before shaking his head and answering, "It's really late, Sirius, and we still have classes tomorrow." He stood up and picked up the bag he had kicked aside. Remus started to leave when a firm hand grasped his wrist.

"Wait, Remus," Sirius looked up at the other boy with a hopeful glint in his eyes. "I was just wondering if you had plans for this Saturday."

Remus looked not, as Sirius had wished, pleased and delighted, but rather as if one of his worst fears had come true or as if someone was about to die. Remus swallowed the bit of saliva that had been gathering in his mouth before he opened and said rather sadly, "Sorry, Sirius. I have plans with Alexander."

He stood there for a moment awkwardly still in Sirius' grasp and afraid of the other's reaction. But surprisingly there was no sudden uproar of outrage, for which Remus was both thankful and disappointed. Instead, Sirius cast his gray eyes down and limply dropped his hand. After a moment of silence, Sirius looked up, his eyes darker than they had been, and smiled vaguely.

"I hope you have a good time, Remus."

Then he stood up and walked past the unsure Remus that was still stuck in place before quickly mounting the stairs and charging into the dormitory. With little regard for James, who had stumbled awake at the sound of the banging door, he changed into Padfoot, dove into bed, and disappeared behind the red curtains until the next morning.

--

A/N: Huzzah! I have completed within an hour and seven minutes of the end of Saturday! Quite honestly, I wasn't sure what to do for step 8 so I asked a friend, who told me this was what he would give as advice to someone wooing him if he were Remus Lupin before discussing Remus' tactics in bed, which, surprisingly, was the second time he has given me such information about Remus Lupin in bed. But yes, this doesn't quite have anything to do with anything.


	11. Valentine's Day

The curtains jerked open the next morning and Padfoot whined, clearly upset at the sudden stream of light. Keeping his eyes shut, he pushed his head underneath the fluffy white pillow while trying to move his body as little as possible. It helped with the problem of the light, but not with the annoying voice that kept calling out "Sirius" or with the irritating hands that kept pushing him. Finally, he gave in and snapped his head up with a loud bark that shut up the voice and froze the hands. But only briefly.

"Sirius," came the voice again. Padfoot turned his wide tired eyes towards the face and identified it as James. Feeling no urge to bound or show affection to the boy, he dropped his head back down and shut his eyes. "Sirius, get up or you're going to be late for class." Padfoot opened his mouth in a yawned and then closed it again. "You're going to miss breakfast. Moony reckons there will be some of those sausages you like." This sure got a reaction out of the great big dog as he got up on all fours and jumped off the bed. Then, he remembered that going down to breakfast as a dog would not be acceptable and changed into Sirius.

"Morning Prongs," he greeted with another yawn as he stretched out all the stiffness in his body. He looked lazily around the room and found it empty. "Where are Moony and Wormtail?"

"Already at breakfast. Wormtail wanted to wait for you, but Moony said that you would take too long to get up," James replied as he sat down on the bed with none of his usual teasing faces on. Instead, his hazel eyes were strangely sullen and boring into Sirius' gray ones.

It took Sirius a moment to realize why Remus didn't wait for him and why he had spent the night as Padfoot. When he remembered the events from last night, he suddenly broke eye contact with James and ran off to the bathroom while muttering, "Better hurry up then."

Unfortunately, James was smarter than that. The instant a look of panic crossed Sirius, James had gotten up, and the minute Sirius bolted, he ran after him and managed to get into the bathroom before Sirius closed it.

"What's wrong?" he asked urgently before Sirius could insist that he needed his privacy.

"Nothing," Sirius said to his toothpaste as he squeezed a bit out onto his toothbrush.

"Don't lie to me, Sirius," James snapped as he snatched the toothbrush away from Sirius before he could stick it in his mouth. "I heard you come back last night and, when Remus came in, he looked strangely upset. He wouldn't answer me when I asked him what was wrong. Just said he was tired. So give it up and tell me what happened."

Sirius reached for his toothbrush so he would have an excuse not to talk, but James kept it far away from him. So he gave in quietly. "He's got a date with Alexander on Saturday. Can I have my bloody toothbrush back?"

James laughed and nearly dropped the toothbrush. Sirius scowled at him wondering what on earth was so funny, but he seized his toothbrush back and stuck it in his mouth before brushing angrily. By the time James had calmed down, Sirius had finished brushing his teeth and was scrubbing his face angrily with a washcloth.

"Is that all?" he asked as Sirius wrung the water out of the washcloth.

"What do you mean is that all?" he shot back as he flung the washcloth at James and bit back a grin as it hit James in the face. "How would you feel if Lily told you she was going to spend Valentine's Day with some other guy?"

James shrugged as he pulled the wet cloth off his face and tossed it into the sink. "Probably terrible, but Moony isn't Lily. C'mon," he grabbed Sirius' wrist and tugged him away from the bathroom. "Don't tell me that you're just going to let Alexander take Remus away like that. I bet the only reason why Remus agreed to go with him was because Alexander asked first."

"But when I had-" Sirius began with confusion as he changed into new robes and threw aside the old.

"Well you did let it slip that Moony was with Professor Slughorn, didn't you?" He took Sirius' silence as a yes and continued, "I bet Alexander didn't want to take any chances so he waited for Remus and asked him then." His voice lowered slightly as if he were uncovering a big plot. "That's probably why he asked if you had a date because he didn't want to embarrass himself if you were already going with Remus." Then James nodded and straightened up. "So, we're just going to have to find a way to get Moony away from Alexander on Saturday so you can have a chance, Padfoot." Looking extremely smug, he slung his bag onto his back and opened the door.

Intrigued, Sirius quickly followed after him and asked, as they made their way to the Great Hall, "How are we going to do that?"

"Quite, simple really," he answered with a smile. Then he opened his mouth to continue before shutting it with a frown. His mouth parted several times again wordlessly until he sighed and said, "We just have to come up with that simple solution. But for now," he looked up again eagerly as they reached the Great Hall, "act normal. Don't let Moony think that you're devastated or upset. Just pretend as if nothing had happened."

"Prongs," Sirius said a little cautiously, "since when have you been so full of relationship advice?"

James' face split into a wide smile as he winked mysteriously. "Since I know what it is the object of your affection is like in bed." He stuck his tongue out, ran to the Gryffindor table, and squeezed into the empty space between Remus and Lily.

--

Before James, Sirius, and Lily had joined them for breakfast, Remus and Peter were idly enjoying their meal quietly. In fact, if Remus had bothered to be a bit more attentive, he would have noticed that it was too quiet. As it was, Remus only made mechanical motions of bringing his fork to his mouth and chewing with glazed over and tired eyes as Peter watched attentively.

Finally, Peter stammered very quietly, "A-are you g-g-going somewhere f-for Valentine's D-day?" After six years with the werewolf, one would have thought Peter would have gotten over his stuttering, but never once, in all six years, had he alone asked Remus about his love life or, for that matter, the love life of any of the other Marauders.

"Huh?" Remus' eyes snapped into focus as they looked over at Peter curiously.

"I-I was wondering if-if you had p-plans for S-Saturday," he stumbled a bit louder than before and relaxed slightly when Remus smiled back a little sheepishly.

"I do, actually. Why?" he wondered as he pulled the fork out of his mouth.

"R-really?" Peter laughed a little. "I didn't want to l-leave anyone alone on Saturday, that's all." Then he took in a giant breath of relief and let it out slowly. "Padfoot must be really happy then, yeah?"

"Padfoot?" Remus asked with his face frowning in confusion. "Why would he be happy?"

Peter shrugged and started eating, an action he had paused when he decided to confront Remus. "Because you agreed to go with him on Saturday. Those were the plans you were referring to right?" His voice faltered at the end of his question afraid he had done something wrong, which, of course he had, judging by the narrowed golden eyes.

"Why would you say that?" he inquired very softly but his voice wasn't smooth, instead it was laced with a bit of danger and Peter couldn't help squeaking a bit in fear before replying.

"B-because h-he really l-likes you?" Though he was across the table from Remus, he still backed away from the other boy, worried that Remus might suddenly attack him for suggesting something like that.

Instead, Remus sat up and stared at Peter curiously. "How do you know that?"

"I hear-heard him telling P-Prongs about it." He nodded quickly as if that made the fact more solid. "Yeah, just after the f-full moon, he told Prongs that he really really liked you." Peter looked Remus in the eye and expected Remus to relax and laugh while telling him that indeed, Remus was going to spend Valentine's Day happily with Sirius and Peter didn't have to worry about a thing.

Although Remus did throw his head back and laugh, he said nothing of the sort like that. Instead, he said, after he was quite done laughing of course, "I'm not going with Sirius. I'm going with Alexander." Though he was smiling as he shared this bit of information with Peter, the chubby boy swear he saw a darkness swirling in the brilliant golden eyes and heard bitterness in Remus' light words. But he had no time to question this, because Lily had plopped down next to Remus and began complaining about whatever it is girls like to complain about.

--

"Sirius," Remus said as his hand hovered hesitantly over the other boy's arm as if he were afraid to touch it. "Are you feeling alright?"

Sirius turned his head to Remus with his eyes wide open. "Hmm?" He took a moment to register the words before his face relaxed into a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" He clamped his hand over Remus and forced it down on his arm as reassuringly as he could.

Remus, feeling very wary of Sirius' strange mood, struggled hard not to yank his hand away from Sirius. "Class ended about three minutes ago and you haven't bolted yet to lunch," he answered as normally as he could. There was a strange feeling stirring in the pit of his stomach as Sirius absentmindedly stroked his hand while humming oddly. "Sirius," he prodded again and Sirius shook himself back to focus again.

"Really? Then why are we still sitting here?" he asked as he took his hand away from Remus and gestured grandly at the Transfiguration room that was completely empty. He grinned and stood up before pulling Remus up with him. "Let's go to lunch, yeah? I'm starving and I'm really hoping for a treacle tart." He started listing all his favorite types of food as he brightly walked out of the room with Remus following at a safe distance just in case Sirius suddenly exploded from inconsistency.

_But_, Remus thought to himself, _Sirius has every right to be inconsistent._ And at least he wasn't shouting his head off nor sulking miserably nor avidly avoiding Remus as he thought Sirius would. Though it disturbed him greatly that Sirius seemed unaffected, Remus decided it was better than having an upset and unpleasant Sirius. Besides, it made some things better, but what those things were, Remus had yet to figure out.

With all his thinking and Sirius' mindless prattling, they had reached the Great Hall in a very short amount of time and had taken their seats across from James and Peter. He was about the enjoy the delicious smelling meal that had popped up on his plate when a gentle hand laid down on his shoulder and three unsubtle glares turned towards the boy standing behind him. He turned around and grinned sheepishly at the blond who was trying to figure out why Remus' friends had suddenly turned very hostile.

"I was wondering if you'd like to sit with me for lunch," Alexander asked with a smile while his blue eyes were trying to hide the confusion he was feeling.

Remus opened his mouth to answer, but James answered for him with a brief and sharp, "He'd love to." Though the words were meant to be nice, the way James spat them out made it seem like he was daring Alexander to go against him. Remus stared at James worriedly and was beginning to think that maybe he and Sirius had taken some sort of potion that made them act far more strangely than normal when James kicked him hard on the shin forcing him to suddenly stand up.

"I suppose I would love to," he grumbled as he picked up his bag and glared at the messy-haired boy before following a still very puzzled Alexander over to the Ravenclaw table.

Sirius waited until Remus was out of earshot before hissing over the table, "What the hell did you do that for, Prongs?"

James grinned, but his eyes were laced with dislike for Alexander. "So we could have some time alone, of course." He attempted to be flirtatious, but the way his face was still twisted with contempt made it hard.

"Why?" Peter asked rather innocently and immediately regretted his decision when two pairs of furious eyes turned onto him. "W-why don't you want Moony to be here?"

Suddenly, James began laughing as Sirius scowled unpleasantly. "Wish I knew that myself," Sirius muttered before flicking some carrots at James that stopped him immediately.

"No reason, Wormtail," James answered as he peeled the carrots off his face and threw them back at Sirius. "We just think that Moony should spend some time with his _friend_, that's all."

Peter, feeling terribly left out, took a few minutes to summon up his courage before saying, "I want to know what you're planning. I know that Moony has a date with Alexander and I know that Padfoot likes-"

Sirius reached across the table and stuffed a roll of bread into Peter's open mouth. "Shut up," he demanded in a low whisper. He glanced around the table to see if anyone was listening, but, since this seemed to be a daily occurrence, none of the other people paid them any attention. "How did you find out?" he hissed threateningly.

Peter bit off the roll and swallowed it before answering simply, "I-I heard you and P-Prongs talking and Moony told me."

Before Sirius could lunge forwards and tear off Peter's head for not giving up this information earlier, James drew Peter to him with an arm and asked, "What are you doing Saturday?"

With a wary look at Sirius, Peter answered, "Jen Carleton." James and Sirius burst into sniggers before Peter corrected himself with a red face, "I'm going to Hogsmeade with her! It's just a date!" A small feeling of relief flowed through him because, although he felt rather embarrassed, Sirius was no longer glaring murderously at him. "Why?"

"Because," James replied after letting go of his bout of giggles, "we're going to make some people very happy. And by that I mean we're going to make Remus realize that he is madly in love with Sirius and that Alexander is nothing but a terrible terrible mistake on his part."

--

Remus thought it was very strange that when he woke up on Saturday only Peter was awake and getting ready for the day. He had thought that James would have landed a date with Lily, but when he brought up the subject to Peter, the other boy only mumbled some nonsense and shrugged him away. Yet, when Remus had reached out to wake up the other two, Peter immediately dragged him away and down to breakfast. Then, as soon as he sat down, Peter went to the Ravenclaw table and invited Alexander over before trotting over to the Hufflepuff table and brought over Jen Carleton. He made some brief quiet introductions and started eating, to let the other three get to know each other.

Alexander and Jen seemed to be getting along well while discussing the topic of magical creatures and Remus gave his opinion every-so-often, but his eyes were mostly glued to the entrance of the Great Hall and wondered where the other two Marauders were up to.

Before he could wonder much, Peter was talking and before long, he bravely asked, as he was told to do, "Would you two like to go to Hogsmeade with us? As a d-double date?" Jen didn't look very surprised and Remus supposed Peter must have discussed this with her earlier.

Remus was about to agree simply because Peter looked so nervous about having to go alone with Jen and he kept staring at Remus hopefully. However, Alexander shook his head and wrapped an arm around Remus' shoulders a little possessively.

"Sorry, Peter, but we have plans already for just the two of us." Then his blue eyes turned apologetic as he added on, "I wish you had thought of it a bit earlier," but the way his grip tightened on Remus' arm showed that even if Peter had thought of it earlier, the answer still would have been no.

"That's f-fine," he stammered back while looking extremely disappointed. Remus reached out and patted Peter's shoulder comfortingly, hoping that the other boy would realize that it wasn't going to be so bad before he was pulled up by Alexander and rushed away.

--

Peter excused himself from Jen, promising to meet her at the Entrance Hall in a few minutes, before dashing up to the dormitory as quickly as he could. He knew that the plan wouldn't work and he had told James and Sirius that Remus would never agree to a double date with such short notice. Granted, it wasn't Remus who refused. Still, Peter had said so, hadn't he?

Panting, he shoved open the door and found James and Sirius sitting over an open trunk still in their pajamas. The redness in his face increased out of anger as he leaned against the doorway and wheezed, "Plan one didn't work. Told you so."

To his annoyance, the two boys merely glanced up and shrugged.

"Didn't think it would," James replied as he pulled out a long gray scarf and threw it at Sirius. "It was still worth a try."

Sirius caught the scarf neatly and wound it around his neck. He was oddly calm and the cause of it was a calming drought James had forced down his throat when the other boy had gotten tired of his constant whining and pestering.

"Yes, well then onto Plan B." Before Peter could say that one and B didn't quite correlate, Sirius had gracefully stood up in one motion and was sauntering over to him with a haughtily cool look. "You may leave now."

Peter stared at Sirius incredibly, wondering where the hell he got off on such an attitude, and then looked over at James for an explanation. James merely shrugged and stared back with a look that said, "I'd go if I were you."

Peter, rather ticked off with the both of them for being so mean and not including, frowned. "Whatever," he muttered before he marched down the stairs as grumpily as he could.

"So mate," James said as he turned his attention back to the trunk labeled RJL and started flinging out more clothing at Sirius, "ready for Plan B?"

Sirius stared at James shakily as he changed clothes. "Yeah," he managed to say in one breath after pulling everything on. "Any chance I could have another calming drought before we hop to it?"

James looked thoughtfully at Sirius with his long hair barely combed and then shook his head with a grin. "Nope." He stood up, patted Sirius on the back, and then shoved him out the door. "I don't think you'll need it anyway." But even as he said those words and followed the trembling boy down the stairs with his Invisibility Cloak, James knew they weren't true and he was going to have an exciting day.

--

Despite the fact that Peter was upset with his other two friends and had been plainly rejected by Alexander, he continued to follow Remus on his date for, as he thought in his mind, extra protection. Of course, this wouldn't have been such a bad idea, and Jen might have thought of him as a kind person who cared a lot for his friends if it weren't for the fact that Peter was stalking them with an intent look on his face. It was so intent, that Jen had the fleeting idea that Peter was madly in love with either Alexander or Remus. But that idea fleeted as soon as she lost her temper with him not concentrating on her and kissed him very suddenly. She had to admit, she was a bit shocked when Peter kissed her back, but all her suspicions were pushed aside and Remus had to be thankful of her for distracting Peter long enough to get away from the two of them and get on with his date.

While Peter was busy being distracted, Sirius and James were busy trying to initiate Plan B.

"Please, Lily?" James asked looking so sincere and honest that it would have been hard for anyone to reject him. Anyone, but Lily and possibly Snape.

"Why the hell should I? Don't you think that maybe I have plans for today?" she snapped back angrily.

Filch was staring at the three of them suspiciously as he checked off the small trickle of students that were just leaving to Hogsmeade.

James dropped down on both knees and clasped Lily's hands tightly in his so that when she tried to wrench them away, she failed miserably. "Lily, this is important to the future of everyone. I know that your plans for today are to have coffee and spend some time with your other lonely friends, but can't you change them? Just look at poor dear Sirius over there shaking and trembling." He nodded towards Sirius who glared back indignantly, but didn't correct James. "Don't you want to help him? And Remus? After all, if you won't do this for the sake of Sirius and the world, do it for Remus."

Lily's green eyes softened with the plea, but she still wasn't bought. "I don't understand how this will help Remus. From what he's told me, he's very pleased about finally going out with Alexander. And what does the world and the future have to do with anything?"

"Finally?" Sirius asked, jumping into the conversation. He rounded in on Lily, nearly trampling over James and pushed again, "Finally? What do you mean finally?"

She took a step back, or tried to as she was still in James' grasp, and responded a little startled, "I mean, he has liked Alexander for several months now and Alexander's finally asked him out."

"Wh-what?" Sirius stuttered, clearly shaken. He seemed ready to run away, but luckily James stood up to save him.

"Now, Lily, see. That's where you're wrong." He let go of her hands and slung an arm around Sirius encouragingly. "Remus is actually very misguided and in love with Sirius." James smiled brilliantly, but in his eyes, she could tell that he was beginning to doubt what he was saying. It seemed as if Remus hadn't told them anything about the way he felt for Alexander. "He just needs something to open his eyes and see the truth. And that's why we need you. You see, if we don't make Remus realize he actually loves Sirius, then it's quite possible Sirius will die from grief and then Remus too will fall apart from a love that he will realize too late and then where would the world be without Sirius or Remus? It's almost as tragic as losing me!" He grinned and was pleased to see that Lily was trying to hide a smile.

She shook her head slowly and her long red hair created enough of a curtain to regain her previous cold composure. "And I'm supposed to believe that seeing Sirius parading around Hogsmeade with me and wearing Remus' clothes is supposed to make that happen?"

"Yes," James answered enthusiastically, thrilled that she finally understood their work. "Isn't it brilliant?"

"No," she said bluntly. "For one, Remus is quite certain of the fact that I don't like Sirius. Another thing, why is Sirius wearing Remus' clothing? And why should I do this? Other than for the sake of Remus."

James was now starting to feel very unsure of himself. He had been positive that this plan would have been brilliant even when Sirius came up with his reasons for why it wouldn't work, but now that Lily was poking holes in everything, he felt like a balloon that was struggling hard not to give in to the pressure of the needles. "Well," he started as he inflated his chest to appear more confident, "Remus doesn't know everything, right? And once Remus sees how sexy Sirius looks in his clothing, he'll immediately want to get together with Sirius so they can shag all day and get their clothes mixed up more often, right?" He smiled a little shakily as Lily scowled at the unnecessary images and Sirius turned away oddly bashful. "And, I'll buy you dinner anywhere you want if you'll do this for us. So, what do you say Lily?"

She scrutinized the two of them for a few minutes before she noticed Filch starting to hobble towards them. "Deal, but it better work and Remus had better be pretty damn happy after this, got it?" Her green eyes narrowed into a glare until James nodded eagerly. "And, I get to eat anything I want for dinner." Then she grabbed Sirius' hand and marched past the approaching Filch so quickly that he barely had time to registered they had gone. By the time he checked off their names, James had disappeared after him under his cloak and left Filch behind thoroughly confused as to where their third member had gone.

--

Remus had the silliest smile on his face and he knew it. Currently, Alexander was walking next to him talking about something that he didn't quite care for, but that wasn't important. What mattered most was that their fingers were locked together and they were just strolling along the white dusted streets of Hogsmeade after just having lunch at the Three Broomsticks. It didn't matter that he had forgotten his gloves in the dormitory because Alexander's hand was plenty warm and his left hand could live with wearing Alexander's warm dragon skin gloves. The feeling was amazing and nothing could ruin Remus' happiness now.

Or so he thought.

He turned to look into the clear blue eyes that were asking his opinion on something when he saw Sirius leaning in towards Lily who was not looking at all repulsed. What was more, it seemed as if…

"Remus?" Alexander prodded gently. "I was wondering if you were interested in going to the bookstore."

"Sorry," Remus muttered back, still looking beyond the blond hair. He shook his head as Sirius pressed his forehead against Lily's and thought there was something terribly wrong here. He took his hand away from Alexander's and nudged the other's shoulder to turn. "Tell me if I'm wrong, but is Sirius wearing my clothes and about to kiss Lily?"

If Alexander was slightly confused by Remus' question, he was absolutely bewildered by the fact that what Remus was saying was true. But, he didn't see why this was important to him. "Yes, they are," he answered hesitantly, wondering if it was a trick question.

"I wonder why," Remus murmured. Sirius' hair, aided by the wind, had fallen in front of their faces so it was hard to tell whether Sirius was actually kissing Lily. Idly (or rather because he didn't want to wonder about the bitterness he was beginning to feel), he wondered where James was and how come he hadn't jumped out at Sirius yet.

--

"Is he doing anything yet?" Sirius muttered feeling rather tired of holding the awkward position.

"He's watching you," James offered, wondering, as Sirius was, how come Remus wasn't marching over to demand why Sirius was wearing his cloak. "Wait, now Alexander's watching too. He doesn't seem really happy."

"Alexander or Remus?"

"Alexander." There was a slight shuffling sound as James leaned in for a closer look. "He seems rather peeved by you two." Then James laughed. "I think he has the hots for you, Sirius."

"Shut up, James," Sirius muttered as he tried to peer through his hair to see the other two.

"You guys sure know how to make a lady feel special," Lily whispered, not liking to be so close to Sirius. "Don't you think this is long enough? If Remus hasn't done anything yet, then he's probably not going to. I don't think he's madly-"

"Shh," James demanded as Remus and Alexander began walking over with their hands linked together again. "Break it off you two. Lily look thoroughly snogged and as though you're in love with Sirius. Sirius look pleased with yourself," James directed as he moved to the other side of Sirius and Lily.

Lily scowled as Sirius pulled away but quickly changed it into a dreamy look and Sirius didn't have to pretend to look pleased as he sat back down next to her and carelessly slung an arm around her.

"Remus! Alexander!" he greeted cheerfully but lazily. "How's it going?"

Sirius was delighted to see that Remus was looking terribly puzzled as he answered, "Fine."

"Wonderful," Alexander added on, matching Sirius' joy. "I hadn't known you and Lily had gotten together though." He looked over at the girl and smiled kindly. "I take it James doesn't know about this thing between you."

"The hell I don't," James muttered under his breath as Sirius laughed and replied too enthusiastically, "Of course he does! It's like I told Remus before, I have always been madly in love with Lily. Isn't that right my sweet Lilykins?" He turned and leaned in as close as he dared to the murderous looking face.

Through gritted teeth, Lily answered, "Of course, Sirius, _dear_."

"Something's not right," Remus mumbled to himself before saying louder, "Sirius, why are you wearing my clothes?"

Sirius laughed loudly and shifted a little closer to Lily. "Well, Lilykins didn't like anything I had, but she seemed to recall that you had some nice clothes. So I picked out the nicest ones. A shame you don't have any dress robes, though. I'll buy you some later, yeah?"

"I guess," Remus replied still very suspicious of the whole thing and feeling very uncomfortable. Which was why, he was thinking about killing Alexander when he suggested that Lily and Sirius join them and, when Sirius joyously accepted and Lily seemed _relieved,_ Remus decided he would murder Sirius that night.

--

What had started off as a lovely Valentine's date ended up as mediocre gathering of friends, according to Remus anyway. Alexander didn't seem too miffed, Sirius looked like he was having the time of his life, and Lily was acting very relaxed and happy. He would have scowled at the lot of them if it weren't for the fact that they seemed to take turns looking at him with a bit of a worried look.

During one of the brief moments that none of them were paying attention to him, Remus stopped and sighed before something bumped into him. He turned around to apologize, but no one was there behind him and immediately, Remus knew what was going on. He reached a hand out and felt a light breeze which told him someone was dodging his grasp. He tried again to his right this time and caught hold of what seemed like a shoulder.

"Remus?" Lily asked from the doorway of the Three Broomsticks where they had decided to have dinner.

"I think I dropped something," he lied with an honest smile. "I'll be there in a minute." He kept hold on the invisible shoulder until the door closed behind the red head. Then he pulled off the silvery fabric and revealed a sheepish looking James. "Spill."

"What are you talking about?" James asked, knowing that Remus would get the information out of him no matter what.

"The Invisibility Cloak, stalking us, Lily and Sirius, you being okay with that, Sirius, Lily, and Sirius," he stated as coolly as the air.

"You mentioned Sirius three times, you know," James replied as if that were the obvious answer, which, to him, it was.

"I'm rather upset by him," Remus said plainly as he crossed his arms waiting for a better explanation.

"Are you sure you're only _upset_?" James lost his shyness and stepped close to Remus with his voice turning cocky.

"Instead of what?" Remus shot back in return, not visibly giving in to James' bait.

"Instead of being besotted, smitten, infatuated, or in love." He raised his eyebrows up and down a few times until Remus slapped him.

"Why would you think that?" he growled defensively.

Instead of cowering in fear, James smiled widely and spread his arms out to show he wasn't hiding any secrets. "For one, Sirius is obviously taken by you and, maybe you don't remember, but Moony sure does reciprocate those feelings for Padfoot. I'm not saying that you and Moony share all your crazy feelings, but Remus, I don't think these feelings are exactly crazy." He waited for Remus, who was standing with his upper body leaning forwards like he was getting ready to attack, to respond.

After a few minutes, Remus finally asked, "How long?"

"For Moony or Sirius?"

"Sirius."

James smile increased and his eyes almost disappeared behind extremely happy slits. "Perhaps as long as you've decided to take to Alexander. Maybe even longer."

Remus relaxed his body as he gnawed on the corner of his lip in thought. Then he crossed his arms and sighed. His previously gleaming eyes closed and when they opened again, they were only illuminated by the waxing moon. A soft smile graced Remus' features and, not for the first time, James wondered what Remus would look like under the light of the full moon as a human. He imagined that the other boy would look something like an angel with his golden eyes laced with silver and his soft brown hair glittering with white light.

His thoughts were interrupted when Remus slung an over-friendly arm around him and started pushing him into the Three Broomsticks. James made brief eye-contact with Remus as they entered the warm establishment and Remus responded, "We'll see." And James concluded, as he was being pulled down in between Remus and Lily, that it had been quite the exciting day, though it would have been better if he had been the one pretending to kiss Lily instead of Sirius.

--

A/N: I think it's quite apparent that I didn't write this all in one sitting considering that I seemed to have switched styles of writing in the chapter. Unless, I usually do that so that this seems quite consistant. Did any of you guys watch the Olympic Opening Ceremony? Lin Hao is my hero.


	12. Step 9: Dramatic Askings

_Step 9: __When you finally get to asking me out, do it with a bit of flair, dramatics, and action. Also have a plan of where we should go and how to spend our first date, but be flexible. _

_By the way, no kissing before the first date._

Remus didn't bring up anything about what James and Peter had told him that week to Sirius. In fact, as soon as they had entered the dormitory, Remus clapped Sirius on the back with a word of congratulations on "snagging" Lily and promptly fell to sleep. James grinned the entire time (even when he was watching Sirius change into his pajamas at which point Sirius had attacked him with a pillow while calling him a pervert) and refused to tell Sirius how Remus had found him. Peter, who had wandered into the dormitory after James shut his curtains, was too dazed from a long snogging session to talk to Sirius. And so, Sirius fell asleep very very confused.

He also woke up very very confused and very very alone in the dormitory the next day at eleven thirty-nine a.m. He wasn't at all surprised to find that Remus was gone, but James and Peter usually liked to sleep in late. And James usually liked to wake Sirius up very rudely if Sirius hadn't already woken up.

Either way, Sirius crawled out of bed and ambled his way down to the common room still in his pajamas. Seeing that mostly empty, aside from a couple girls who took one look at him and burst out into giggles, he clamored out of the portrait hole and slowly made his way to the Great Hall, sauntering wonderfully in his cozy red pajamas. A few of the lower years pointed him out and he waved at them mischievously, but everyone else walked past him like it was common to see Sirius in his pajamas. Which it probably was.

After fifteen minutes of wandering around the castle, he found the Great Hall and was delighted to see that he had made it just in time for lunch. Sirius glanced around the room and spotted his buddies. He skipped over and plopped down next to Remus, who was, to his surprise and pleasure, not sitting with Alexander. He pointed this out to Remus with his mouth full of potatoes.

"Yes, well, we decided it was best not to see each other," Remus replied not looking at all morose about the idea, but that might have just been the chocolate cake popping up on his plate.

"What?" Sirius asked unbelievably. Remus glared at him and he swallowed his potatoes before continuing, "Why? I thought you really liked him. That's what Lily said."

"Did she?" Remus drawled thoughtfully, turning to give the redhead a few seats away a look, before focusing back on his cake. "I suppose I did like him, but spending an entire day with him yesterday just showed me that we had nothing in common."

"Nothing in common?" Sirius raised an eyebrow and raised his fork to point out the things they were like two peas in a pod before James kicked him under the table. "Right," he amended himself as he kicked James back. "Nothing in common at all. I bet he wouldn't know what to do with you if you suddenly fainted one day." Sirius nodded firmly and was contented to hear Remus chuckle.

"I don't suppose he would think of taking me to the Hospital Wing or calling for help would he? Or are you suggesting that he wouldn't know what _you_ would do if I suddenly fainted one day?"

"Is there any other logical way than my way?" Sirius beamed modestly before he returned back to his meal. "So, you and Alexander are just…"

"Just friends," Remus finished as he dabbed the corners of his mouth and smiled delightfully.

"Brilliant," Sirius replied. "He was getting to be such a good friend and I didn't want to have to ignore him because of this."

"What is this I hear?" Remus teased. "Sirius Black has _feelings_ for people _outside_ of the Marauders?"

Sirius frowned playfully, taking his attention away from his plate that cleared itself magically, and crossed his arms. "Sirius Black has many feelings for the people he likes. In fact, he would like to remind Remus Lupin that just the other day he was kindly displaying his feelings for a certain Lily Evans on a bench."

Remus raised an eyebrow, his eyes betraying what he knew, and tried not to smile. "And I suppose his display of feelings was so strong for Lily Evans that she is merely testing the power of their _love_ by sitting as far away as possible, eh?"

"Of course." Sirius swung an arm around Remus, pulled him close, and looked up at the enchanted ceiling that predicted rain. "It is written in the stars," he began and Remus held his tongue from saying that there were no stars, "that Lily and I were fated to be together for all of eternity."

"Hey!" James interjected suddenly and kicked Sirius once more.

But Sirius ignored him and turned to look at Remus who was suddenly very close to him. "And," he continued so quietly that Remus had to lean in closer to hear him, "they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Do they?" Remus whispered back a little breathlessly, before he pulled away from Sirius with a cocky grin and said in his normal volume, "Well, we'll see if the saying is true, shall we?" As he got up and walked away, Sirius had the strangest feeling that they were no longer talking about Lily.

--

The odd feeling that seemed to float between his stomach and his heart didn't go away at all. Sirius had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with Remus and that James had a clue what it was about, but he didn't see hair nor hide of either of them for the rest of that day until it was night time. James' excuse was that he was out stalking Lily and pranking Snape, but Peter had been with Sirius for practically the entire day, so that wasn't true. What's more, Remus had claimed to be spending time as well with Lily, Alexander, and Snape. Sirius didn't think either of them had solid alibis and came to the conclusion that they had been spending the day with each other. That led to another dramatic fight in which James ended up holding tightly onto Remus as Sirius tried everything to pull them apart.

"Moony! Make the mutt stop trying to destroy our love!" James cried at midnight. "Do something to keep him away!"

"Prongs," Remus choked back as he tried furiously to breathe, "can't do anything when you're holding on this tightly. 'Sides, Padfoot isn't trying to destroy our love."

Instead of loosening up, James clung on tighter and screwed his face up pitifully. "Can't you see it in his eyes, Moony? He's clearly trying to steal you away from me and ravish you in a dark alley so that you'll forget about me! But, you won't win, Padfoot!" James screamed in a triumphant manner. "Moony will always keep me close in his heart and you can't destroy love!"

"Moony won't keep you in his heart, because you clearly have him under a spell or a potion," Sirius retorted as he prodded James' arm with the tip of his wand. He was starting to grow tired of the argument, but he'd be damned if he went to sleep knowing that James was holding Remus. "Moony's smarter than that and he's smart enough to know that a prick like you isn't enough to satisfy him."

That did the trick. James untangled himself from Remus, who, upon being released, dashed to the bathroom to take a quick shower, and rounded in on Sirius with a smug smile. "Oh, and you're enough to satisfy him, aren't you?" he teased eagerly and was thrilled to see Sirius flush red in response. "Then I suppose you are going to take Moony away from me aren't you?" He turned away and crumpled to the ground dramatically. "What am I going to do when my one true love runs away with my best friend? What a tragic existence that will be!" he wailed until Sirius kicked his back lightly.

"Shut up, Prongs," he muttered rather bashfully for being Sirius Black as the fluttering feeling attacked his heart. "It's not like he's interested anyway."

James jumped up at this, causing Sirius to fall back on the bed behind him. "Not interested? Have you no brain inside that pretty little head of yours?" he asked with exasperation. "Did you not notice that Remus is not with Alexander even though he just had a brilliant date with him yesterday?"

"Wait," Sirius frowned, "Remus had a _brilliant_ date with Alexander?"

James sighed and wondered why it was that Sirius' brain and logic decided to take a vacation at the same time. "Yes. Didn't you see him as they were walking around yesterday? Remus clearly had the air of happiness."

"So then why would he decide not to-"

"Because he fancies you more!" James shouted into Sirius' face because he thought that the realization would take Sirius hours to come to.

"Hang on a second," Sirius said as he shoved James to the side. "That doesn't make sense at all. Moony was having a fantastic time, suddenly he spots me and Lily, and decides that Alexander isn't worth it, even though I've been hanging around for the past six and a half years with him? Something doesn't add up here." He narrowed his eyes in suspicion and was not at all surprised to see James lose his fire.

"Well, ah, the thing is," James began, refusing to look Sirius in the eye, "I might have told Remus how you feel about him and that might have changed his mind a bit."

"No," Sirius said slowly. "No, because I know Wormtail already told him earlier."

"Well then," James paused and searched his memories for what he had said. "Maybe it was what I said about Moony and Padfoot." He shrugged as the bathroom door squeaked open. "Anyway," his tone lightened as he bounced off to his own bed, "stop being an idiot and do something before another git takes Moony away from us."

"From us?" Sirius asked with an eyebrow raised. Then he looked over at Remus, whose hair was dripping from the shower, and said, "Did you know that James and I are sharing you now?"

"Is that why you've stopped fighting then?" Remus asked calmly before yawning loudly and coming to a stop before Sirius.

"I suppose so," Sirius replied, wishing that Remus would put a shirt on while hoping that he'd just fall on top of Sirius like that.

Instead, Remus bent his body in half until his head was level with Sirius. For a moment, Sirius thought that maybe Remus was about to kiss him, for the golden eyes were certainly full of some deep emotion, but that moment passed when Remus shook his long hair in front of Sirius' face. Caught unaware, Sirius was sprayed with water until he opened his mouth to scream in protest. Unfortunately, Remus' hair was so long that it got caught in Sirius' mouth and the dark-haired boy found that he ended up spitting in Remus' hair instead of telling Remus to stop his indecent behavior. Of course, spitting in Remus' hair did get the desired effect, because Remus stopped shaking his head and started complaining about the mess in his hair. Sirius retorted that it wouldn't be so messy if he had just combed it earlier and dried it like a normal person. Remus replied that he was no normal person, thank you very much, and that if Sirius was to keep insulting him, he could get off of Remus' bed, because Remus doesn't take kindly to bad dogs sleeping in his bed.

"Sirius refuses to be acknowledged as a bad dog because Sirius didn't do anything bad and-Wait, what?" Sirius opened his eyes and uncrossed his arms (both of which he had done when Remus started complaining) as he processed what Remus had said. "Sirius can-I mean I can stay in your bed if I'm good?"

"I never said that," Remus replied with a small grin. "I only said that if you were going to keep insulting me, you can get the hell out of my bed." Then he walked over to the edge of his bed, on the other side of Sirius, and crawled under the covers. "And you have to buy me something good."

"Why?" Sirius asked suspiciously as he lay down next to Remus on his stomach.

"You promised me yesterday you would in exchange for wearing my clothing and you just spit in my hair. I think you owe me something bloody fantastic," Remus muttered with his eyes closed. "Now shut the hell up and go to sleep."

Sirius watched Remus for a few minutes, blind with happiness, before he settled his head down on the pillow next to Remus' and fell asleep in a few seconds.

--

Sirius was having a bittersweet Monday. Bitter because it was Monday and James had woken him up from a wonderful dream by poking him before teasing him about getting in bed with Remus, who decided to wake up at the moment James was singing "You shagged Remus" but fortunately shoved James aside and told him to piss off because it was only six in the morning. Sweet because, after Remus had properly woken up, Remus was back to his normal, friendly, and cool self and was back to playing around with Sirius like before Remus ever mentioned Alexander. What's more, Sirius had just read Step 9, which prompted him to ask Remus out, and he had just the perfect plan for it. Of course, Sirius thought to himself as he and the other three Marauders walked out of a lovely Potions class, that plan would have to wait until Wednesday night.

--

"Moony!" James called inside the library. "MOONY!" This time, Remus appeared from behind several bookshelves with a curious and reprimanding look on his face. "Wonderful! It's almost dinner time, Moony. And a growing boy like you can't skimp out on his dinner, yeah?" He grabbed Remus' arm and started pulling him out of the library, which was a good thing because Madam Pince appeared two seconds later threatening to have their quills attack them if they didn't leave right away.

"What's going on James?" Remus asked with great confusion, but was responded with a simple smile.

"Nothing at all. Now, we're planning something great for dinner, so I need you to go upstairs and change into the dress waiting for you on your bed and come right back down to this spot. I'll be waiting for you here." James pointed down at the ground that was right next to one of the Great Hall's entrances just in case Remus didn't know where "here" was.

"Wait, wait, a _dress_? Why am I supposed to wear a _dress_?"

James tutted impatiently and shook his head. "All in good fun, my dear Moony. Now no more questions from you. Run upstairs like a good little boy and change right away." With that said, James let go of Remus and disappeared into a nearby corridor.

Though very puzzled, Remus went up through the common room and to the dormitory where he found Peter wearing the strangest outfit waiting nervously.

"Peter?" he wondered as he tried to make sense of the clothing that looked like it was stolen from the Fat Friar and the Bloody Barron. "What's going on?"

"I'm here to make sure you wear that and get going," he replied looking at anywhere except Remus. "So please hurry up. Sirius promised you chocolates if you wear it and extra sweets if you go quickly."

Though Remus didn't really care for the extra sweets, he was under the impression that Peter did care for them. So, without another word, he slowly changed out of his robes and slipped the dress on. It surprised him how well the dress fit him and he was sure that if he were a girl he would marvel and the quality and design of the dress. But as it was, he merely glanced in the mirror, spun in a small circle (just to see how the dress would swivel), and followed Peter down the stairs.

--

Sirius was nervous, and for good reason. The Great Hall was infested with children and staff, but in a few minutes all eyes would be on him. He would make sure of that, but he wondered if maybe all this was a bit too much. However, before he could have anymore second thoughts, James appeared next to him and smiled.

"All's ready, my liege," James bowed deeply and the feather in his hat bobbed up and down.

"Highness, Potter," he corrected as he straightened up and assumed his role. "I'm a highness until Remus accepts. _Then_ I become your liege. Got it?" James nodded and Sirius hmphed. "You had better not mess up, or it's off with your head."

James grinned as he took his wand out. "Just stick to your lines or your head will be lost." Then he gave his wand a little wave and the doors to the Great Hall opened as dramatic music filled the hall.

--

"What is that noise?" Remus asked Peter as they neared the spot James told them to wait at. "Is that James speaking?" He lifted up the edges of his dress, careful not to trip on them like he already had three times before, and quickened his pace to hear what it was James was saying.

"A prince," the voice boomed as Remus arrived at the spot James told him to, "who was without a partner." Applause burst out and James waited until it died out before continuing. "This young prince had but a single goal: to kill the evil dragon that threatened his lands and to save the princess that waited for him in the dark lair of the evil dragon." There was a collective "oo" from the audience and Sirius began talking.

"Evil dragon!" he cried out as James stepped out of the Great Hall and looked grateful that Remus and Peter were there. "No longer shall you terrorize my lands with your fire power and strength. Today is the day you meet your death."

"Great," James whispered as the audience made noises of appreciation and lights flashed inside the hall. "Remus, you come with me and Peter stay here until your cue."

Remus gave a fleeting look of bewilderment and pity to Peter before he was dragged off by James. It appeared as if a stage had been transported inside the Great Hall and they were back behind it. Remus didn't have time, but if he did, he would have thought it amazing that Sirius, James, and Peter were able to set up something so elaborate, but he would have also thought it sad that he had not been included in their plans. As it was, he only had enough time to whisper, "Wow," before James shoved him down on a bench and told him to sit still before the bespectacled boy ran onstage.

"As the great dragon lie writhing to his painful death, our brave and slightly battered prince dove deep into the caves of the dragon in search of the princess he once knew as a child. Though the young prince had not seen the princess in many many years, he knew that the promises he muttered as a child still held true and that in his heart there was but one love for him. And so, the prince searched for one day and one night until at last," a light drifted towards Remus and finally settled down on him, "he found his princess."

A collective audience aww-ed, but Remus couldn't help but notice that fair number frowned in disgust or displeasure. Perhaps it was just because the light was in his eyes, but he was pretty sure Alexander was one of the ones frowning.

"My princess," Sirius voice called out to him, interrupting his thoughts. "It has been too long." He reached out and clasped Remus' hands in his own. He kneeled down and in the process lightly pressed his lips to the knuckles of the scarred hands. "I know that it must be a shock to find that you have been suddenly freed," his silver eyes looked up into the golden ones earnestly yet mischievously, "but you needn't say anything except answer my question. Will you marry me?"

All the females in the audience gasped suddenly and Remus found his mouth open and take in a sudden breath. Sirius, clearly noticing this, grinned and whispered so that only Remus could hear, "And by marry, I mean go with me on the next Hogsmeade trip as my date where we will spend half the day lying in the sun, basking in the warmth that is our love, and kissing every-so-often to make up for the days that we can't be kissing because it's not our first date yet."

Remus laughed softly, surprising the few people who were sitting close to the stage, before he returned Sirius' grip firmly. "Of course, _my prince_," he answered and the joy in Sirius' eyes was real as he jumped up and gathered Remus in a tight hug.

"And so," at this moment Peter scrambled on stage with a book in hand, "the prince and his princess were married." The audience cheered, though by now it was mostly just girls and a couple of the staff. "And they lived happily every after."

--

A/N: Updated early because I finished my 10-page-paper for work early and had a rather lovely day. So, I think that's a good ending, but there will be a follow up story for those of you who are interested in what happens to Sirius and Remus later. Now, I know the title is "How to catch and keep a Remus Lupin" so you may be wondering, "Well where the hell's the keeping?" To that I answer, the keeping will be later and so this fanfic is now titled "How to catch a Remus Lupin." I decided to end it now because, well, I dunno, I was getting a bit bored of it and not knowing what to do for steps. Which is why the next part shall be in a different format. Hope you enjoyed it, sorry for the sudden ending, and thank you for all of your support!


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